Notes
by Llama Mama23
Summary: Edward and Bella are caught passing notes in class. The teacher has the note read to the class. A series of embarassing events ensues, including Edward in a trunk, Bella in a gas mask, Carlisle as Tarazn, and Emmett with blue hair.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This takes place on a random day in the ****Twilight ****world. But before Edward came to terms with Bella being changed.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Or New Moon. Or Eclipse. *sigh* I don't own anything of consequence.**

**I will have the name of the person who wrote a specific line in parentheses next to it. I originally had it in different fonts that matched the characters, but fanfiction evidently doesn't allow words to be in different fonts.**

**Notes**

**By: Llama mama23**

Want to pass notes? This class is excruciating to sit in. How long can a teacher go on about biology? **(Bella)**

Of course I do. I'm even more bored than you are. This is your first time to hear all of this useless information. It's my fifth. **(Edward)**

I feel bad for you… I don't know if I could take this five times. **(Bella)**

Then maybe you should reconsider your decision; as it will require several days of sitting through _this. _**(Edward)**

I don't want to get into that now. Where were you last night? I though you said you were coming over. **(Bella)**

Sorry, Esme demanded that I help rearrange the living room. Again. **(Edward)**

How does it look now?** (Bella)**

About the same, only it's been re-painted a baby blue, we found a new loveseat, bought a coffee table, and installed a fireplace. **(Edward)**

You call that the 'same'? And why on Earth did you get a coffee table? You don't even drink coffee! **(Bella)**

Esme saw it and couldn't help herself. Want to come over today? You could see it. **(Edward)**

Yes, I'll be there. So, just to clarify, you're coming over tonight? I missed you. (**Bella)**

Not as much as I missed you. Of course, I'll be there as soon as Charlie falls asleep. **(Edward)**

Good. The teacher's toupee is falling off his head. **(Bella)**

I noticed that. Stop giggling! You're calling attention to us. **(Edward)**

Giggling? I'm hurt.** (Bella)**

I really want to kiss you right now. **(Edward)**

Why? **(Bella)**

Do I need a reason? **(Edward)**

No, just curious. **(Bella)**

Your lips look even more beautiful when you pout. **(Edward)**

I am _not _pouting. And I think we need to get your eyes examined. **(Bella)**

Please Bella, I have perfect vision. **(Edward)**

Show-off. Big-fat-perfect-showoff. **(Bella)**

Your face is priceless right now; so adorable. **(Edward)**

Thanks. **(Bella)**

You're pouting again. **(Edward)**

No I'm _not_. Stop staring at me like that. **(Bella)**

I thought I was allowed to stare at you. This teacher is such an imbecile. Half the things he's telling us are wrong. **(Edward)**

Well, that sure makes me feel comfortable with our education system. **(Bella)**

Speaking of education, did you fill out those collage applications I gave you yesterday? **(Edward)**

No. After school I went to a beautiful meadow with some gorgeously beautiful V- **(Bella)**

Before I can finish writing my sentence, the teacher appeared quite literally out of nowhere, snatching the note from my hand.

"Passing notes in _my_ class? I think not." He walked back to the front of the class room, and handed the note to a boy in the front row. Wanna take a wild guess at who that was?

Mike.

"Mr. Newton, please read this aloud to the class. Be sure to say _everything_ and speak clearly. Don't leave anything out because you feel bad for them.

Mike skimmed the first few lines, smiling, and then frowned abruptly.

"_Want to pass notes_?" he quoted from our note. "_This class is excruciating to sit in. How long can a teacher go on about biology?_" The teacher's eyebrows furrowed as he glared at us from behind his glasses. "Continue, Mr. Newton." He said briskly.

"_Of course. I'm even more bored than you are. This is your first time to hear all of this useless information. It's my fifth_." There were surprised murmursaround the room, Edward's jaw tightened, and I smiled at his expression. The class now thought he'd flunked this grade five times.

"_I feel bad for you… I don't know if I could take this five_ _times_." Mike paused before continuing, "_Then maybe you should reconsider your decision; as it will require several days of sitting thorough _this_._"

"_I don't want to get into this now. Where were you last night? I though you said you were coming over._" My smile disappeared. The teacher, looking furiously shocked, was speechless, so Mike barreled on.

"_Sorry, Esme demanded that I help re-arrange the living room. Again_." He hopelessly butchered Esme's name, saying 'EEEsme' with the 'E' ridiculously over pronounced.

"_How does it look now?_" The room was fully captivated now, listening to our note with full attention. I thought it was ironic that our note got more attention than the teacher's whole lecture. People had stopped passing their own notes, and looking very relieved that it wasn't them who had been caught.

"_About the same, only it's been re-painted a baby blue, we found a new loveseat, bought a coffee table, and installed a fireplace._" Mike was looking embarrassed now. I think his tiny brain was just now realizing that I had asked Edward why he hadn't come over to my house. At night.

"_You call that the 'same'? And why on Earth did you get a coffee table? You don't even drink coffee!"_ Everyone in the room turned to stare at Edward in shock. The majority of them inched their coffee cups always from him, as if he had an infectious disease that could somehow manage to poison their precious drinks.

"_Esme saw it and couldn't help herself. Want to come over today? You could see it_."

"_Yes, I'll be there. So, just to clarify, you're coming over tonight? I missed you._" Mike was _almost_ as red as me now, but all the eyes turning to look at me were _not _helping.

"_Not as much as I missed you. Of course, I'll be there as soon as Charlie falls asleep_." The few people who hadn't been staring at us before were now. The girls looked like they wanted to rip my face off, and the guys were looking at Edward with the exact same look. Even Mike paused in his reading to send Edward a death glare. It looked like the teacher was about to have a heart attack, his face was very red and a big vein was pulsing quickly on his forehead.

"_Good. The teacher's toupee is falling off his head_." Everyone in the class tried to suppress their snickers, and the teacher touched the back of his head self-consciously; his face turning even redder. If he kept this up, he was going to get half as red as me…

"_I noticed that. Stop giggling! You're calling attention to us!_" I looked over at Edward, expecting him to be as embarrassed as I was, but he didn't look embarrassed at all. He actually looked as if he was enjoying this!

"_Giggling? I'm hurt_." I smacked Edward lightly on the shoulder, doubting he would even feel it. He looked at me and his shoulders seemed to shake with laughter.

"_I really want to kiss you right now."_ Mike stumbled a little over the word 'kiss'. After collecting himself, he barreled on with the note.

"_Why_?" I spared another glance for the teacher, and wondered if I should have Edward call Carlisle. His face was turning an odd purple-ish color. A doctor might be necessary soon.

"_Do I need a reason?_" Mike's voice made it apparent that _he_ definitely would never need a reason.

"_No, just curious._" Mike paused to pop his neck, and I figured it was probably pretty uncomfortable standing with a room full of people, reading a note to the class. Poor, poor Mike.

"_Your lips look even more beautiful when you pout."_ This was killing me. Totally and completely killing me.

"_I am not pouting. And I think we need to get your eyes examined._" I settled for simply glaring at Edward, hoping he had some sort of magic power tucked away that could make this all disappear.

"_Please Bella, I have perfect vision._" I cradled my flaming face in my hands, looking forward to the day when I would no longer be able to blush.

"_Show-off. Big-fat-perfect-showoff."_ Mike's voice lost the little emotion that it had, and his voice came out robot-sounding, no longer full of jealously and such, he seemed to have accepted that he was going to have to read this, and settled for speeding through it at a faster pace.

"_Your face is priceless right now; so adorable."_

"_Thanks._"

"_You're pouting again_."

"_No I'm not. Stop staring at me like that_."

"_I thought I was allowed to stare at you. This teacher is an imbecile. Half the things he's telling us are wrong_." I heard an indignant stutter from the teacher. His face was loosing the purple color, and regaining the brick red color.

"_Well, that sure makes me feel comfortable with our education system_._" _

"_Speaking of education, did you fill out those applications I gave you yesterday_?"

"_No. After school I went to a beautiful meadow with some gorgeously beautiful V-" _Mike stopped talking abruptly, and I was enormously grateful that I hadn't been able to finish that word; several things we'd written in our note could have different meanings, but I didn't think that anyone could come up with too many reasons why I would call Edward a vampire. Mike returned the note to the teacher, and sat down, looking very relieved that it was over.

The bell rang, and Edward pulled me out of the room quickly before the teacher got a chance to talk to us about passing notes in his class.

When we were out the door, Edward pulled me into the niche in the wall that a corner provided, and kissed me fiercely.

"No more notes." He murmured into my ear.

**Thank you for reading! **

'**Review' is a synonym for love. So '**_**I **__**love**__** you'**_** would turn into '**_**I **__**Review**__** you'**_

**For older readers, this was simply an editing spell that overcame me one day, so I hope you like the new version better! Just a few minor changes, but hopefully it made it a little better!**


	2. Any ideas?

Dear awesome reviewers,

This is probably my most popular story, and I would LOVE to continue it, but I can't think of ANYTHING! Do any of ya'll have any ideas? If someone submits a good idea, I will use it and turn it into a SEQUEL!

Thank you to everyone who reviewed, added this story to favorites, or alerts!

Much love,

Llama mama23


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes 2!**

**A/N: I'd like to thank'****Vampiress19' ****for her idea, for this is her idea! If ya'll want more of Notes, please review telling me so. And I'm sorry if this turns out a little strange, I just feel a need to TYPE so whatever comes out may end up being the stupidest thing on the planet. **

**Another thanks goes to 'Child of Art and Darkness'** **who pointed out an error in the previous chapter. I felt rather dumb, but I just wanted to recognize her genius! (and everyone who hasn't read her stories, go do it. NOW.)**

**A small warning, it gets a little suggestive in here, so if you are dead-set against that sore of thing, don't read this chapter.**

**And also thanks to Murmmer who got me past my writers block, and gave me the INGENIOUS idea that made this story end the way it did! Thanks!**

**Disclaimer: I wonder what would happen to a person who posted a disclaimer saying 'I **_**do**_** own twilight' oh well, I'm not dumb enough to try to find out **

**Bella's POV**

I walked down the hall quickly, making my way for the parking lot that was where Edward and I always met after school. I stopped briefly at my locker, shoving all of my school books into it and forcing the door closed, knowing that first thing tomorrow morning they would all tumble out and make my own little book-mountain.

I turned around to scurry towards the parking lot but ran smack into Jessica! The impact knocked me back against my locker, and made her stumble back a few steps, but she held her position right in front of me, smiling at me in her own special way.

"So, Bella," she started, "I wanted to talk to you about the note that you and Edward were caught passing in class earlier."

I immediately felt my cheeks heating up, knowing how most people would have interpreted certain parts of the letter. "What about it?" I tried to walk past her, so that we could at least have this conversation near my angel, who would laugh at me later, but still offer the comfort that I needed right now. Unfortunately Jessica, who probably had a lot of practice with this sort of thing (getting the answers out of people who didn't want to give them to her) stepped to the same side I was going for, blocking my way completely.

"Why did you ask Edward if he was coming over tonight? And after Charlie was asleep?" She looked at me with knowing eyes, saying that she knew the answer but wanted to make sure that she wasn't spreading false gossip.

My cheeks flamed up again, and I knew that it was going to be difficult to convince her that I wasn't doing what she thought I was doing.

"Well…um…h-he just comes over sometimes to…help me with...uh..homework." I clenched my teeth at how stupid I sounded, knowing that she would see right through my 'lies' (It couldn't be difficult; I bet a _blind_ man could have seen through them).

Jessica raised her eyebrows at me. "So he comes over _after_ your father is asleep to _help_ you with homework?"

I clenched my teeth again, trying desperately to figure out the best lie to get me out of this. It was times like these when I desperately wished that Edward could read my mind. Just a little bit, enough so he could hear my calls for help and come to my rescue. I wasn't really sure if his presence would make this conversation _more_ awkward or end it completely. Knowing him, he would play along just to get a laugh out of it, whereas I was franticly hoping that people would _stop_ thinking the thoughts that I'm sure most of them were having. I momentarily thought about telling her that the thoughts she was having were the truth, but knew that if I even _hinted_ at that, the whole school would know every word of our conversation by morning. After all, there are no secrets in forks.

I swallowed, glancing at my watch. School had been out for almost ten minutes, Edward was bound to be wondering where I was, considering I was usually one of the first _humans_ out there. Just as I thought his name, he waltzed in through the large double doors at the front of the school. I could see him clearly from my place against my locker, but Jessica, who was facing me, didn't see him at all.

I tried to make signs indicating 'come this way' and 'help me' but he looked right at me, smirked mischievously, and the walked _IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION_! I ground my teeth together angrily. I couldn't believe he was leaving me to this! Of all the things he's done to me, this one small thing made me want revenge. I sent my mind searching in a new direction, trying to find a way to get him back for leaving me with Jessica's curious questionings. It was clear that he would be listening, and probably _had_ been listening through the whole thing.

I was gong to _kill_ him.

"Bella?" Jess asked, drawing my attention back to the problem at hand. "Yes?" I asked, stalling for more time to think.

"Why does Edward Cullen come into your room at night after your father is sleeping?" She had a look of patience on her face, while still weary of what lie I might try to feed her next. I realized that she probably wouldn't buy some farfetched lie, so I decided to tell her a reasonable lie.

"Why do you _think _he comes in there?" I put as much suggestiveness into my voice as possible, while still trying not to blush too hard.

"Well, I _think_ that he comes in there, to…um…" I was shocked that anything could make Jessica feel uncomfortable, let alone stammer like that.

"You're right." I said simply, smiling slightly to myself. I could almost _see_ Edward's shocked expression. He wanted to hear me tell a lie, well, here it comes.

Her eyes widened and she looked totally shocked. She'd known the most likely reason for my words, but to have me confirm it seemed to have pulled her into a sense of shock.

"You and Edward Cullen?" she said a little too loudly for my taste.

"Yes." I smiled at her.

She didn't speak for a moment, and even though Edward wasn't there, I could almost _feel_ him wanting to know what else I would say. Finally Jessica came back to herself and started throwing questions at me like baseballs.

"DETAILS! How was it? Did he leave right after? Did your dad find out? Were you safe? What-" I held my hand in front of her, cutting her off.

"It was…" here came the part for my evil plan, Edward was going to wish he'd saved me when he got the chance. "Not what I expected." I paused intentionally, giving Jessica time to get impatient, and start thinking all kind of things that Edward wouldn't want to hear.

"What do you mean?" I smiled slightly at her tone; she really _was_ impatient.

"Well…Edward sort of _cried_ in the middle…" I almost blushed, but knew that it would probably give away my lie.

"WHAT?" Jessica almost shrieked. "He _cried_?" Her eyes were as wide as saucers, and I guessed that this was the best gossip she had gotten in months. I could practically hear the thoughts running through her head, and knew that Edward wouldn't be enjoying this.

"Yes, he cried. The rest wasn't _horrible_ but it wasn't even close to what you would picture with someone like him."

Jessica's eyes were starting to be in danger of falling out, as if she really couldn't believe that _Edward Cullen _would cry in the middle of 'love'.

I racked my brain for anything else that I could say that would embarrass him, and smiled evily when I thought of one more thing that I could say.

"Charlie wasn't home that night, and he wasn't going to be back until noon the next day. So Edward just decided to stay over, and he fell asleep before I did. And he kind of…_talked_ in his sleep." HA! He makes fun of me for _my_ sleep talking! I pondered what he could have said that Jessica would have found the strangest.

"What did he say?" Jessica said, believing me completely.

"Well, he said something about '_that's not pink enough.' _And then something about _'Where's Jessica? I need Jessica!_' I think he may have a crush on you!"

A triumphant grin spread across her face and I couldn't help smiling. This was too easy.

"How does that make you feel?" Jessica asked, trying to make her voice sound concerned, and friend-like, but I heard the undertone of superiority in her voice, telling me that she was _very_ happy that she had the chance to steal Edward from me.

"I'm fine with it. I know that he might pay more attention to you if you followed him around a little bit." I almost burst out laughing, knowing that she would follow my advice. I knew for a fact that Edward disliked Jessica, and hopefully this would teach him to _always_ rescue me when he had the chance to.

Just as I thought of him, he came waltzing around the corner, trying his best to seem nonchalant, but I noticed the undertones of annoyance, and even embarrassment in his golden eyes.

"Jessica, I hope I'm not interrupting, but I need to get Bella home now." Jessica smiled flirtatiously at him, saying in a sultry voice, "Nope. Not interrupting anything." She smiled at him again before heading out the main doors, without even glancing back over her shoulder at us, where I was almost doubled over with laughter.

Edward started walking towards the doors, trying his best to ignore me. However, he traveled at a human pace, so I knew that he was giving me the opportunity to keep up with him.

I caught up to him, smiling at him innocently. He looked in the total opposite direction of me, clearly giving me the cold shoulder. We made our way back into the parking lot, and slid into his Volvo, still not saying a word.

He breathed in and out slowly as he started the car, before opening his mouth to break his silent streak.

"_Crying? _Really?" he burst out, clenching his jaw angrily.

"You left me to answer her; so I did." I smiled at him, still very pleased with myself and the lie I had managed to create.

"Yes, but I expected you to babble nervously about how we were _not_ sleeping together; not _admit_ it!"

"Well, you always say I do the opposite of what you expect." I told him, repeating words that he had told me many times.

He sighed, clearly frustrated. He took another deep breath before asking, "So do you want to come see the new living room or not?" he asked, rising above his annoyance.

"Of course!" I smiled at him, grateful that this day was finally over.

"You know, Jessica is planning on following me tomorrow. And the next day. And the next day. I hope you've realized what you've done." He mumbled at me, before changing the subject to the weather, which basically consisted of 'its rainy today, isn't it?' and 'yep'.

~X~

Edward pulled into the driveway, seeming to park the car and appear at my side at the same time. He opened the door for me, taking my hand as soon as it was clear of the door handle.

He led me towards the house, again opening the door for me. Emmett was waiting on the other side of the door, grinning at Edward and me.

"Edward, we decided that the living room wasn't _pink enough_, so we re-painted it pink earlier." Edward stiffened beside me, glaring at Emmett angrily.

I squeezed his hand, silently telling him to calm down, while trying not to laugh. Somehow, Emmett knew about the conversation I'd had with Jessica, that much was clear about how he said 'wasn't pink enough'. My guess would have been Alice, and she came bouncing down the stairs as soon as I thought her name.

"Edward, Esme asked me to ask you if you would mind cleaning the kitchen, but I thought you might cry in the middle of it, so I took care of it for you." I burst out laughing at the same time as Emmett, and Edward was giving Alice the most murderous glare I'd ever seen.

"Edward!" Jasper appeared at the top of the stairs "Jessica Stanley called earlier, and asked for you. You weren't here so I went ahead and gave her your cell number." Edward roared furiously, dropping my hand as he flew up the stairs at Jasper, who had already disappeared, but his laughter echoed around the house, making us all laugh even harder.

**Hope you all enjoyed! There's more ridiculous-ness to come!**


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes…3!There's actually a NOTE in this one!**

**A/N: I am simply astounded by how many people like this story. In honor of all the encouraging reviews, I am going to continue. Thank you so much for everyone that read, reviewed, and added my last chapters! It means the universe to me!**

**Just a heads up, this chapter isn't all humor – there's a little bit of angst-y-goodness. Some of you might need some tissues.**

**Disclaimer: I used to own ****Twilight**** but then some evil peaches came and took it from me. (Just kidding! Evil peaches? That's ridiculous! *wink*)**

**Edward's POV**

I chased Jasper around the house for awhile, getting very annoyed that he wouldn't let me catch him. Every time I got close, he would pound me with a wave of lethargy or sadness, and that would slow me down enough for him to pull ahead again.

After I'd given up on chasing him, my cell phone rang. By instinct it was at my ear before the second ring was done. "Hello?" I asked into the phone, remembering too late that it was probably Jessica.

"Edward!" Even over the phone Jessica's voice annoyed me to no end, making me want to smash my phone into a million pieces. It occurred to me that I _could_ do that, so when she started babbling about how she was tired of 'immature boys' and wanted 'a real man', I threw the phone onto the ground, where it shattered on contact. I stepped on it gingerly a few times for good measure.

The whole family had seen my little demolition, including Bella, who was laughing hysterically, having to lean on Alice to keep upright. I walked calmly away from my cell phone, now a pile of black powder on the floor, and sat down calmly on one of the couches in the living room. Bella came over to me after a few more minutes of incessant laughing, snuggling into my lap and sighing contentedly.

I still couldn't believe that Bella had said the things she had. _My_ innocent Bella had told the school's main gossip that we were sleeping together. I was slightly embarrassed, knowing that the whole school would know that I supposedly 'cried in the middle' tomorrow.

I let out my own sigh, _definitely _not looking forward to tomorrow.

Eventually, I had to drive Bella home to Charlie, who was evidently incapable of preparing his own meals. I kissed her quickly on the cheek before promising to be back when Charlie fell asleep.

After the drive back to my own home, I walked up the stairs, growling at everyone who dared to think about what had happened today, which was basically everyone in the house, save Carlisle and Esme.

I stomped into my room, shutting my door just a little harder than normal, making it sound like slamming to all the vampire ears in the house.

Emmett was still laughing in his mind, telling me as many jokes as his small mind could come up with about my 'incident'. Alice was also laughing in her head, but did have the courtesy to apologize once for telling the others. Then her thoughts resumed laughing at me, ignoring the loud growl that she knew was directed at her.

I briefly considered going along with Jessica whenever she tried to follow me tomorrow; as a way to get revenge on Bella, but no matter how much I wanted my pay back, I couldn't do anything that might hurt Bella. I loved her too much to waste time pretending to return Jessica's infatuation. I sighed, knowing that there was nothing I could do to get back at her; I would actually have to let it go.

I glanced at my watch, starting a mental countdown of the minutes until I could return to Bella's room. I still had about an hour to waste, so I flipped on my cd player, listening aimlessly to whatever happened to be in there at the time.

After awhile, it felt like it should be getting close to when I could return to Bella's house. I glanced at my watch again; seeing that only a grand total of three minutes had passed.

I switched Cd's, drifting off into my own world where Bella and I sat in the sun all day.

Finally, the time came when I knew that Charlie would most likely be asleep, and wouldn't hear my entrance. I jumped out my window, not wanting to go through the next round of mockery, and set off for Bella's.

I arrived at her house quickly, noting with satisfaction that all of the lights were out. I jumped up to Bella's window, already seeing her form on her bed; lying on her back and staring at the ceiling.

I reached for the latch on the window to open it, and almost fell off the roof when I saw what was there.

On a little post-it note, in Emmett's messy scrawl, was written the words '_Be sure not to cry this time_' and was accompanied by a few drawn tears, which were colored pink.

I seethed, mentally counting the ways that I could kill Emmett, or at least make his life a living nightmare.

I soundlessly opened the window, sneaking up on Bella as quietly as possible. Her eyes were closed, and I wondered if she was asleep, although she never fell asleep on her back, then she murmured,

"Hi." She didn't even open her glorious chocolate eyes.

"How did you know I was here?" I whispered back to her.

Her eyebrows furrowed, as if she was wondering the answer to that question herself. "I don't know. I just knew."

Before I could inquire further, she opened her eyes, smiling at me, and stopped my already stopped heart. She noticed the small scrap of paper in my hand, and I handed it to her before she could ask.

She read it before a grin spread over her face. "Emmett?" she asked, figuring that he would be the only one brave enough to do something like this.

"Yes." I said, quickly, moving to the other side of the bed, with my back pressed up against the wall to give Bella as much room as she could get with two people in such a small bed. I wrapped my arms around my angel, still marveling that she let me touch her without running and screaming.

I could feel a blush warm her cheeks, and immediately shifted a little bit closer to the warmth that it gave off, without even realizing it. "What is it?" I murmured onto her neck, smiling slightly when she shivered from my closeness (I'd learned by now that my temperature wasn't what made her shiver every time I got near her).

"You aren't…angry about what I said today, are you?" she asked me, a little bit of fear making its way into her voice.

"No. I could never be angry at you." I told her truthfully. I had been completely shocked at what she had done, and maybe a little bit nervous about what was to come, but _never_ angry. I could never look at my angel with anything other than love; especially not anger.

She nodded, and I could feel her slowly drifting off to sleep in my arms.

I listened to the steady tempo of her breathing all night, fascinated that an angel such as her would even _think_ about being with me.

_**XXX**_

**Bella's POV**

I woke up the next morning to Edward kissing my neck, his ice cold lips telling me that it was time to get up every time he paused from his kissing. I sat there for a few more minutes, pretending to be asleep, but he must have heard my increased heartbeat, for he chuckled and kissed me once on the forehead before hopping off the bed and out the widow.

I smiled after him, knowing that he would be back to take me to school, as he hated my truck almost as much as I hated his driving. I hopped out of bed, getting dressed quickly, and bounced down the stairs, glancing out a window to see that Charlie's cruiser wasn't in the driveway; already off at work. I fixed myself a beautifully frosted pop tart, eating slowly while waiting for Edward's return.

I almost choked on my breakfast when I heard the soft knock on the front door. I shoved the remainder of my food into my mouth, chewing as swiftly as possible. I grabbed my bag off the hook near the door, threw it across my body, and opened the door quickly, smiling broadly at the angel that stood there. He grinned back at me, and as soon as I finished locking the heavy door, he took my hand with his, leading me to the passenger side door. He held it open for me like the gentlemen he was, and despite having this happen every day, I blushed at his incredible sweetness. His smile widened as he saw my blush.

He raced around to his side of the car, starting the car at about the same time that my door shut all the way. He drove to school one handed; holding one of my hands in his steely grip, and guiding the wheel with the other one.

When we pulled into the parking lot of the school, his smile slowly slid off his face, and I could see his jaw tighten.

"What is it?" I asked him, looking around the parking lot for any kind of danger.

"Let's just say that several people considered bringing me a box of Kleenex this morning. Mike Newton for one. He seemed to think that I might burst into tears in the middle of biology." I couldn't help the tiny grin that spread across my face, but Edward didn't seem to find the situation funny in the least.

When we got out of the car, still hand in hand, I heard a few soft giggles and whispers. Edward looked solidly ahead, not focusing on anyone or anything. I giggled a little bit, still amazed by my own genius in thinking up such a scandalous lie.

"You're lucky I love you." He whispered. His eyes glancing quickly at a few people, who, I'm sure, were thinking about him.

We made it into the school without confrontation, but when we entered our first period (which we had together, courtesy of Edward,) Jessica bounced up to us, looking only at Edward with unmistakable lust shining out from her eyes.

"Hi, Edward." She said lustrously, standing almost as close to him as I was.

I disguised my laugh by coughing, but I'm pretty sure that Edward could tell that I found this humorous.

It crossed my mind then, that he could possibly return Jessica's showy affection; just to get back at me for what I'd done, but I hoped with all my heart that he wouldn't do that to me. I was already quite insecure about his feelings towards me, and hopefully he knew that even a fake infatuation would hurt; no matter _how_ fake it was.

"Jessica." Edward nodded to her, his eyes still on me.

"I think we got disconnected yesterday," I smiled internally at Jessica's words; remembering Edward's cell phone that was now a pile of powder. "And I was going to ask if you wanted to go to a movie tonight. There's one playing at the theatre in Port Angeles about a vampire who falls in love with a human, and it sounded interesting." I coughed-laughed again, seeing the irony in the situation, but as I watched Jessica's hopeful face, my humor with the situation started to fade. Jessica was supposed to be my _friend_. Why was she asking out Edward _right in front of me_? I had encouraged her, so I didn't have the right to be upset, but she could at least have the courtesy not to do this in front of me! That was just rude!

"Thank you very much, Jessica, but I have plans tonight with Bella." He nodded to her again before pulling us towards our seats at the back of the room. I smiled at him, proud that he was above trying to get revenge.

He smiled back at me and took my hand under the table. Class started, and as the teacher droned on about how previous events in American history had been planned according to the food chain, I saw Jessica and Lauren passing a note.

This was a different teacher than we'd had yesterday when we'd passed notes, but maybe he'd see it, take it up and read it to the class. If someone else's personal life was broadcasted, maybe people would start to forget about Edward and I.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward's face harden into an angry mask, and I followed his gaze to Lauren, who was still scribbling a reply to whatever Jessica had written.

"What is it?" I whispered, too soft for the other humans in the room to hear.

"I don't like what they're saying in their note." He said icily, still glaring daggers at Lauren's back.

I shrugged, knowing that they were probably gossiping about him and his 'incident'. I felt certain that Edward would never leave me alone to face inquiries about us again, if only to protect what remained of his reputation.

I listened for awhile to the lecture before my attention started drifting around the room. Mike Newton was reading a magazine under the table; Tyler Crowley had his cell phone out and was probably texting someone else in the building; and Jessica and Lauren were still passing notes.

I focused on a spider building a web right outside the window next to me, watching as the design became more and more intricate. I continued to watch the spider until Edward nudged me softly with his elbow, and nodded towards the teacher. The teacher was looking at Jessica, who was focusing all her attention on trying to get her purple pen to write her reply to whatever Lauren had said. She didn't notice when he stopped talking; or when he started walking over to her.

She _did_ notice when he pulled the note out from under her arm, and handed it to the person nearest them, which just _happened_ to be Mike Newton. Mike really needed to reconsider is seating arrangements.

"Read this out loud to the class, please." The teacher asked Mike. Mike smoothly slipped his magazine into his bag without the teacher seeing it, and held the note in front of him, skimming it before started to read.

"'Can you _believe_ that Edward Cullen _cried_ in the middle of sex?'" Mike said seeming to take pride in saying it. Lauren looked down at her perfectly manicured nails, so I guessed that she had been the one to start the note.

"'No! But he's still HOT. I'd go out with him in a heartbeat!'" Jessica looked down, blushing slightly.

"'That Bella is such a skank! She slept with him before a whole year had passed!'" Mike didn't seem to like saying that almost as Edward visibly didn't like hearing it. I was shocked when several other people in the class turned to give Lauren a dirty look. Lauren shot a glare at the teacher, who seemed to be re-thinking having the note read out loud.

"'Yea, I don't know that Edward sees in her. She's so _plain_! There are plenty of girls here that are prettier than her!'" That hit a nerve, and I looked down at my desk, not believing that Jessica would say something like that. I heard a low growl rumble in Edward's chest, and I was hopefully the only one who heard it. He squeezed my hand, rubbing small circles over my skin with his thumb.

"Totally! I think we should both ask Edward out. There's no way he could say no to both of us!'" Edward cleared his throat, probably trying to get rid of the growl that was still rumbling quietly in his chest.

"'You're right! Separately, we both just hot, but if we ask him _together_ we'd be irresistible! I just asked him to a movie a few minutes ago, and he said no, but if we ask him together, there's no _way_ he'd say no!'" Jessica and Lauren were both looking quite embarrassed, but I'm sure my face heated up very fast when Edward let go of my hand and stood up.

"Edward." I whispered under my breath, making sure that he heard the desperation in it. I grabbed his hand again, trying to pull him back into his seat. He didn't budge.

The whole room turned to look at him, as his second throat-clearing had announced that he had something to say.

"Jessica, Lauren. I feel the need to inform you that I would not go out with either of you if you two were the last creatures on this planet. You two would go out with each _other_ before I choose to go anywhere with either of you. Bella is the exact opposite of 'plain' as you so stupidly called it. Both of you consider 'beauty' all about the body, and obviously don't know that true beauty comes from the soul; but I wouldn't expect people as shallow as you to know that." I looked at the desk, trying to pretend that this was all a nightmare. Edward was _not_ standing up for me in front of the entire classroom, which _should_ have been sweet, but was only succeeding in making me blush my face off. I tried to cover most of my face with my hands, hoping that I wouldn't blind anyone by how bright it was.

Lauren and Jessica's mouths were wide open; shocked that someone would say those things to them without being smited where they stood.

But, of course, Edward wasn't done yet.

"Also, Jessica, Bella was _kidding_ yesterday. Everything she said was a lie, designed to get back at me for leaving her in your horrid presence. Any dream that I ever had about you would be known as a nightmare, and the same goes to you Lauren. I hope, in the future, that you will both _consider_ that the universe doesn't revolve around you. Thank you."

As he sat down, a few of the strange people in the class who felt like committing social suicide applauded him and his speech. I didn't look at him, as I was still too embarrassed to speak.

I couldn't believe he'd done that. Most girls would be all swoon-y and fall in love with him all over again. But not me. I was so embarrassed that I was actually concerned for my health. I didn't know exactly _why_ I was embarrassed, but I knew that I was. Was it what people would think? No, these people weren't very important to me, Edward and his family were all that mattered. What else could it be? I searched myself for the answer, eventually stumbling upon it.

Despite what Edward said, Jessica and Lauren were right; I _was_ plain. Especially next to such a god-like figure as Edward. The fact that he had just stood up and made a perfect speech defending me from all the bad things they had said about me, made me feel even more plain. I never could have done that! I would have babbled on and on, and not made any sense to anyone listening, and Edward had just said things as they were (or how he _thought_ they were) and especially with his perfect articulation and wording, his little show would probably be remembered by most of these people for a long time.

How many things could he do that put the scale out of balance? He already wasted hundreds of dollars on me, treated me as an equal, when I was so clearly not, gave me love that I didn't deserve, and was now proclaiming that I was _beautiful_? It didn't matter to me what he said, I knew that I was by no means beautiful, and all it was doing was making me feel like I didn't deserve him more and more.

**Edward's POV**

I watched Bella's face after I had finally let loose all the thoughts that had been swirling around in my head. She wasn't looking at me, and her face was so red, I could feel its heat from all the way across the desk.

The brainless teacher chose to pretend like nothing had happened and continued on with his pointless lesson, taking up the note without Mike reading the rest of it, which basically said that Bella was stupid and that I should date one of them. It was truly a sickening thought.

I watched Bella, who didn't seem to notice that I was staring at her at all. Her eyes were far away, calculating almost, as if searching for something. I continued to watch as her eyes widened slightly, in understanding or shock, and then turned sad, and hopeless, it was undoubtedly the most painful expression I'd ever seen, it looked like she'd just been told her entire family died, and then some. What could she be thinking? The fact that I couldn't simply just listen, and _know_ what she was thinking annoyed me to no end. I wracked my brain for things that she could be sad about. I know from movies, books, and plays that most girls would be thrilled for their boyfriend to do what I just did. I hadn't even thought about how Bella would feel about my monologue, I'd only thought about myself, and how I couldn't stand hearing anyone say things like that about my Bella, not without doing something.

I didn't know why Bella felt whatever she was feeling, but I knew that it was probably related to something I had said. I felt horrible. I had to know what it was. I just had to. Whatever particular phrase had upset her had hit deep, I could see that from her glazed eyes.

I knew that I wouldn't be able to talk to her without anyone overhearing until after class, probably lunch. I dreaded letting her remain sad for so long, and then the idea popped into my head that I could write her a note! We still had about 30 minutes of this pointless class, which was plenty of time to figure out what was wrong. I'd have to pay attention this time to make sure that this note didn't wind up in the teacher's hands; or Mike Newton's for that matter, who seemed to have been appointed official note reader at Forks high.

I subtlety pulled out a sheet of notebook paper from my folder, also pulling out a ballpoint black pen.

Bella was still staring off into space, eyes still holding that same void of happiness that it hurt my heart to look at.

**(Another note! Edward's words will be in **_**italics**_** and Bella's will be ****underlined****.)**

_What's the matter? Don't even bother telling me that nothing's wrong. Please, tell me the truth._

I slipped the paper silently across the desk at Bella, who didn't see it at first, and needed me to prod her slightly before tilting her head slightly to read it. I focused my mind on the teacher, ready to make the paper disappear if he even _thought_ either of our names.

What happened to 'no more notes'?

She was stalling. I knew it, and she knew it. I saw her swallow, and blink a few times, obviously trying to clear her head of whatever she was thinking; getting rid of the evidence. She knew that I really wanted to know what she was thinking, and knew that I would use my so called 'dazzling' ability if I needed to. If she cleared her head, maybe she didn't think she'd blurt it out. At least not as quickly.

_Changed my mind. Please, Bella. I know something's wrong. Your eyes were so sad. I promise not to get mad._

I pushed the note back to her, hoping that I would be able to keep that promise I'd just made. I did have trouble with my temper sometimes, but I couldn't be mad _at_ Bella. The only times I'd ever even had a speck of anger against her was when she said things such as 'you're too good for me' and 'I'm not worth it'. She still believed that I was _her_ angel; instead of the other way around. But she couldn't _still_ be thinking those thoughts, could she?

Nothing's wrong, Edward. I was just thinking about Jessica, and how she was supposed to be my 'friend'. 

She was lying thought her teeth. She had always been a horrible liar, and though I couldn't read her mind, I could read her face; know that her eyes were too wide, her jaw line a little too tight for being completely honest. She may have been telling _some_ of the truth, but I could clearly see that this wasn't what was bothering her.

_Liar, liar, pants on fire. I know you too well Bella. The truth._

Her brow furrowed, knowing that I'd caught her in her lie. Her face, probably without her even knowing it, constricted into a slightly pouty expression. She was so beautiful. I couldn't remember the last time I'd wanted to kiss her this badly. Well, actually I could, it had only been a few hours ago…

Later.

I huffed. She was trying to get out of it. By how well I knew her, I could guess that she was racking her brain for ways to escape me later. It wouldn't work.

_Promise? You'll tell me what it is later?_

She looked at the paper for a moment. Then picked up her blue pen again.

No,

I felt a growl start in my chest, not anger, just frustration. I hated, _hated, _HATED that I couldn't read her mind. If it could be done without hurting her, I'd simply bang my head against hers until they connected and I could hear her every thought. I glowered at her. Still seeing the same sadness buried deep in her eyes. I could tell that, whatever this was, it was something that really hurt her. Something big. It was absolutely crucial to find out what it was. Maybe if I figured it out, or Bella told me, I would be able to stop it. Just _seeing_ her eyes contain that sadness twisted my heart, knowing that she was hurting because of me.

I let go of the paper, stuffing it back into my folder in case I needed it again. The bell would ring in about 5 minutes, releasing me to gym, and Bella to Trigonometry. I hated that our schedules forced us to part after first period, making me live without her presence until lunch, and then every class up until the last one. I knew that Bella would most likely try to escape someway before I managed to question her, get Alice (who was taking the day off from school to do some shopping) to bring her truck here, or something like that. She probably knew that it wouldn't work, and might try something else, something that (for all I knew) would get her in trouble. I wouldn't put it past her to attempt to walk home, knowing that I wouldn't expect for her to do that.

Maybe if there was a way I could get her out of school before it was actually out? A brilliant brainwave of inspiration struck me and, despite the morbid mood, I cracked a small smile. She would _not_ see this coming.

**Bella's POV**

The bell rang, finally dismissing us from first period. I walked out quickly, positive that, if I stayed, Edward would attempt to question me. He couldn't find out why I was upset. I wouldn't let him. Every time I wouldn't let him buy me something because I wasn't worth it, he'd get upset, always saying that I didn't see myself at _all._ The first time that had happened, he'd said I didn't see myself _clearly_, but he'd figured out that I still thought it anyway, and claimed that I couldn't see myself at all. He was always moody after that.

I don't want him to know, so I'd have to figure out some way to escape before he could get me. I knew that it would be impossible to escape by force, so I racked my brain to figure out how I could fool him. Alice had taken the day off from school today; maybe she'd be willing to bring me my truck? No. Edward could keep up with my truck even without a car. I could _walk_ home. He'd _never_ expect me to do that, but he would also be furious that I'd put myself in danger. As much as I didn't want to talk to him right now, I didn't want him to be angry with me.

All through second period I thought of how to outwit a genius, not listening remotely to anything the teacher had to say. I gazed freely off into space, glad that I sat in the back corner in this room where no one could see me except the teacher, who appeared to be just in her own world as I was; only hers involved large numbers that I really didn't want to think about.

The teacher's school phone rang, a strange-sounding beep, and interrupted her lecture that no one was paying attention to. She huffed, stomping over to it, her math groove evidently interrupted.

"Yes?" she asked grumpily into the phone.

She listened for a moment before nodding (as if the person on the other line could hear it) and setting the phone back in its cradle hanging magically on the wall. I sighed, knowing that it was probably a parent that their child had bribed into letting them miss next period. I'd begun to notice that it happened quite a lot around here.

"Isabella Swan?" The teacher squawked.

Uh-oh.

"Yes, maam?" I returned politely.

"Front office. You're leaving." My eyebrows furrowed, why should I need to leave? Was Charlie okay?

"Did they say the reason?" I asked, trying to hold back the panic in my voice.

"Doctor's appointment." She went back to her math explanation and I picked up my things slowly before walking out the door.

I ambled slowly through the hall, trying to figure out what was going on. I was positive that I didn't have an appointment today, and Charlie didn't seem like the kind of guy to schedule one without telling me.

Eventually I arrived at the front office, and opened the door slowly to see…

Jasper.

He stood there, not really looking at all the ladies that were staring at him surreptitiously; he looked up at my arrival and smiled, telling me with his eyes that nothing was wrong. He could probably feel my worry and dread.

I smiled at the front desk, whose owner was still gaping at Jasper, and walked out with him. As soon as the doors to the front office closed I blurted out,

"Is everyone okay? Charlie?" Jasper smiled slightly, nodding his head at the same time.

"Everyone is fine." He offered no further explanation, just walked over to Edward's Volvo and pulled the keys out of his pocket. Wait a minute. Edward didn't let _anyone_ drive. Especially in _his_ car. Why on earth would he give Jasper the keys? Edward had something to do with this.

Jasper, probably feeling my sudden change in mood said, "Don't tell Edward that I have a copy of his key. He'd kill me. I told him I'd bring my own car, but I think it would be fun to make him walk home." He grinned at me, and my suspicions floated away; disappeared as if they'd never been.

"What's going on? Why are you here?"

"Good to see you too, Bella." He laughed, and my eyes widened in horror.

"I didn't mean-" I started, hoping I didn't offend him.

"No, no, I was kidding. I'm here because Edward called and said something about a note?" He phrased it like a question, as if he was waiting for me to explain.

I stiffened in anger as we got into the car, me slightly furious, and him graceful and elegant. He smoothly started the car, and I ranted in my head.

He was such a _cheater_! He was going to try to get me to spill my guts to Jasper, and then he'd hear about it later! How could he _do_ that? It didn't make me any happier remembering that Jasper would be able to sense my emotions and _influence_ them. I prayed against hope that truthfulness wasn't an emotion.

**Edward's POV**

I held perfectly still in the trunk of my Volvo, not making a sound; or even _breathing_ for that matter.

_She's quite angry Edward. She knows why I'm here. _Jasper's thoughts told me. Through his mind, I could feel Bella's anger and 'quite angry' was a slight understatement. She was furious.

"Yes. There was a note." Bella said, and I could hear the fabric of the seat move as she turned in it, I'm guessing, to look out the window, away from Jasper.

I silently urged Jasper to hit her with a wave of truthfulness, glad that he had been home when I'd called. Jasper was the relative that I knew I could trust with this. He would never even bring it up again if I asked him not to, and since feelings were so much apart of him, he understood why I needed to know, and how to help me.

"Edward said that it upset you. Could you tell me why?" _I can feel your eagerness, Edward. I'll only use my gift if I have to. Give her a chance to explain first._ I rolled my eyes at Jasper, wishing that he could feel it. Bella would never tell him. He'd _have_ to use his power if he even had a _hope_ of getting an answer out of her. Bella was the most stubborn person I knew; she wouldn't bend easily. If I had to I could just come out and try to 'dazzle' her, but that might not go over too well considering her current mood towards me…

"Yes, it did upset me. Why did Edward call you?"

"Answer for answer?" Jasper proposed, hoping to temp Bella with answers to her own questions. That was stupid.

"No." she said, just as I knew she would. He'd have to do better than that. I was letting him _drive_ my _Volvo_ for goodness sakes; he'd better get _something_ out of her that I wouldn't be able to.

"Bella, you know that I'm just looking out for Edward. Just as he's looking out for you. He loves you Bella. So much. He saw the pain in your eyes and it broke his heart. Can you please at least tell _me_ what it is? I promise I won't repeat a word of what you say to Edward; I'll just tell him to either continue to obsess over it, or not to worry. Please?" Jasper was _good_! This might actually be enough to get Bella to tell him. I hoped so. But I felt a wave of truthfulness sweep over me and grinned. He was using his power. There was no way Bella could hold out now.

"Well, you see…" She started, and I could feel my excitement level rise to bursting. I hoped Jasper felt it.

**Bella's POV**

"Well, you see…" I started; I could trust Jasper, right? I looked at his face to be sure and saw his eyes dart to the back of the car with a small smile on his face. He probably didn't mean for me to see it, but when I turned slightly to see if he saw something, I saw the empty backseat and all of his words hit me.

'I won't repeat a word you say to Edward'

When you added all of them together, plus Jasper's unwillingness to lie to those close to him, you only came up with one thing.

Edward was here. Or nearby anyways, where he could hear every word. Jasper would never break his word like that, and Edward was too nosey to let someone else find out something he didn't know. I fought to hold in another stab of anger, but I'm pretty sure Jasper felt it, due to the furrowing of his marble eyebrows.

"I can't believe I'm telling you this…" I ad-libbed; trying to make it sound like the anger had been at me, instead of my truth-seeking true love.

He smiled encouragingly and I felt another wave of trust wash over me, and now that I knew it was coming, I recognized it. Traitor. He was using his ability to _trick_ me into telling him. What should I do? I could tell him the jig is up, that I knew? Or…I could attempt to make up another brilliant lie. I loved the second option. Edward had to know that he, and _he alone_ was the only one who could trick me into spilling my guts. Maybe if I said…

**Edward's POV**

I waited eagerly for Bella's answer, hoping that she hadn't changed her mind. Jasper had been worried when she'd suddenly gotten angry, but told me that he thought her explanation was the truth.

Bella's sigh echoed in my ears from the front seat. "You_ promise_ not to tell Edward anything I say?" she clarified. She was really going to tell!

"Yes." Jasper said solemnly. He'd only agreed to say these things because he really _wouldn't_ repeat a word to me; I'd hear it all myself.

"Okay." Bella said softly.

**HEHEHE! Am I evil, or am I **_**evil**_**? Leaving you hanging like this. Sorry about the length. I didn't realize how long it was until I finished it.**

**Please review if you liked! I don't usually write too much like this, so I'm a little insecure…**

**As I said, this was ooey gooey love stuff, but the next one will be Bella getting revenge AGAIN. (Which will be **_**slightly**_** amusing.)**


	5. Chapter 4

**Summary of last chapter, in case you skipped it****: Lauren and Jessica are caught passing a note that basically says 'Bella is a slut for sleeping with Edward before they've even been out for a while'. Bella gets really upset because they also say things like 'She's so plain' which she has been thinking all along, so it hits a nerve. Edward tries to get her to tell him what's wrong, but she won't; all he knows is that something ****BIG ****is bothering her. So he calls his emotion sensing brother, Jasper, to ask Bella what's wrong. Jasper takes Bella out of school, and Edward hides in the trunk of the car to hear what's bothering her. Bella figures out that he's listening somewhere nearby, and is planning revenge. **

**Disclaimer: Twilight? Not mine. This story? All mine! Yay!**

**Notes FOUR!**

**Edward's POV**

I heard Bella sigh; probably not believing that she was going to tell what was bothering her, after she'd most likely promised herself she wouldn't.

"What's bothering me is…" I waited with baited breath, many of my questions about her ready to be answered.

"I think Edward is cheating on me." My mouth dropped open and I felt the car swerve a little in Jasper's shock. His thoughts were going haywire, completely shocked at what Bella had said. In a dazed, offhand voice, his mind asked me '_You're __not__ cheating on her? Right?'_ Though you could tell by his mind-voice that he'd asked out of reflex, not even thinking about it. I growled so softly that Bella had no chance of hearing, despite her somehow advanced sense of it.

_Okay, Okay, sorry! I didn't mean to think that._ Jasper told me. He cleared his throat, trying to think of what to tell Bella. I was debating coming out of my hiding spot, to beg her to tell me that she was kidding. There was no _way_ that I would, or even _could,_ ever cheat on her. I couldn't believe that the thought would ever cross her mind for a _second_. I loved her as much as it was possible to love someone without being considered disabled!

It was impossible. There was no way that Bella would think that. If she thought that I _was_ cheating on her (I cringed at the thought) she would either ask me flat out, or attempt to spy on me. She was lying. Why would she…

She knew. Her brilliantly secretive mind had figured out that I was in the car, or at least in the general vicinity. I sighed softly.

"Jasper, tell her I _am_ cheating. She knows I'm here." I breathed, making sure that almost no sound left my lips. As a fresh wave of inspiration burst over me, I added, "Tell her you think Alice is cheating on you too. With me." Let her make what she could of that. If she wanted to play, we'd play. I could always 'dazzle' her into telling me the _real_ answer later; she needed to know that I could shock her as much as she could shock me.

Bella's POV

"Bella…" Jasper sighed, his brow contorted slightly. "I think you might be right." I could feel my mouth drop open, hanging there for several seconds before I managed to pull myself together enough to yank my jaw back into place with a sharp 'click'.

"You do, do you?" I asked, frowning at the shock in my own voice. Maybe Edward was right, and I _was _a terrible actress. I composed my face into a mask of calm serenity; as if accepting the inevitable, or what I already knew.

"Why do you think I'm right? Have any strange females entered your house lately?" I could feel my heart speed up as I realized that Jasper's face mirrored my own, worry shining through. Edward couldn't _really_ be cheating on me. Could he? I _was_ plain, and I knew that I didn't deserve him, but he would at least have the decency to break up with me before pursuing some glorious female vampire.

"Because I've noticed him and Alice sneaking off together multiple times recently. _Alone_."

"_Alice?_" I squeaked out in shock. Alice wouldn't, _couldn't_, ever do that. Not only to me, but to Jasper as well. He and she were really and truly in love, the kind of love that was so hard to find; once you found it, you wouldn't give it up, not matter how gorgeous the new person might be. Even Edward-level gorgeous.

I was positive that Alice would never do that, absolutely positive; it just wasn't built into her system. As I pondered why Jasper would lie like this, a flash of intuition hit me like a speeding train: Edward _knew_ that I knew he was here. I blew out sharply through my nose. This was so unfair. He had his emotion-sensing brother to tell him everything that I felt, so he probably knew that I'd figured it out again, by my flash of anger.

Unless…

How far was I willing to go to win this little game we had going? Was I willing to risk Jasper's possible anger?

"I just don't know what to do anymore. I think Alice is cheating on me, with Edward of all people! The brother that I trust, and even look up to some of the time!" Jasper said dramatically, seeming really cheesy now that I knew he was acting.

Yes, I most _definitely _was willing to risk it. He was on Edward's side, so that meant he also had to loose for me to win. And this was one thing that I _would_ win.

I formulated my plan as I took in a deep breath, opening my mouth to set this little game of ours into action.

Edward's POV

"I'm so sorry, Jasper. I knew that it was _someone_, but I never dreamed _Alice_ would do something like this." Both my brain, as well as Jasper's, were swimming in confusion. She was supposed to panic at the ludicrous idea that I _was_ cheating on her! Why wasn't she hurt at all that I was 'cheating on her' with _Alice_?

"You know what? We should get together. I've always felt a strong attraction to you; maybe this was fate's way of getting us together." Bella said rationally, as if this plan made perfect sense. The car swerved again, Jasper's shock mirroring my own. Bella and _Jasper_? She'd had feelings for him? I couldn't stop myself from firing off a pang of jealousy, as I always would to anyone that Bella had any feelings for. Or anyone that had feelings for Bella.

_Are you _kidding_ me? You're _jealous_? Seriously? _Jasper's thoughts screeched at me. He wasn't taking this well. I huffed, before yet _another_ strong wave of realization came washing over me.

I was positive that Bella had no feelings for Jasper. He would have sensed them before, and she would acted differently around him. She _knew_ that I knew she knew I was here. This was getting out of hand.

"Don't you think that it's a good idea, Jasper? I've seen the way you watch me and I feel the same way! We could be so happy together!"

Whenever this little game of ours ended, I'd be sure to tell her that I was wrong about her acting skills. It sounded as if she meant every word she was saying, and thought Jasper's mind, I saw that she _looked_ it too.

It occurred to me that she _could_ be telling the truth. Every word she'd spoken could be what she really thought. She _didn't_ know I was here, she _didn't_ think that Jasper would tell me anything, she was _honestly_ answering his questions. I felt an overwhelming pang of pure agony wash over me at the thought that she really did have feelings for Jasper, and felt nothing more towards me. Was my competitive nature making me imagine she was doing this on purpose?

Should I end this game? If it even was a game. We were both getting in _way_ over our heads. I looked through Jasper's mind again, getting a perfect video of Bella. When Jasper was staring at the road for a second; awaiting my next set of requests, I saw Bella's eyes flash towards the back of my Volvo, behind which I was hiding.

She _so_ knew.

"Jasper, tell her that you love her too. We need to win this." I breathed to him. He chuckled in his mind, enjoying this. He knew that, no matter what happened, Bella and I would be perfectly fine, so he saw no reason why he couldn't have a little fun with us.

Bella's POV

My eyes darted to the back seat when Jasper was watching the road, probably waiting for Edward to whisper what to do next. I wondered again why Jasper was doing this. I'd considered him as a sort of brother, and here he was fighting with Edward to win this little war we had going. He was probably finding some sort of humor in it, something to do while waiting for Alice to return from her shopping trip. It occurred to me that Alice must have seen this coming. Why didn't she warn me? Or if that wasn't cryptic enough for her, she could have told me not to accept rides from her husband, or _something_. I wonder if she found it amusing that Jasper was accusing her of cheating with Edward.

I froze in my thoughts, a new, brutal picture painting itself before me. What if none of this was a game? What if Jasper really _did_ think that Alice was cheating on him? What if he really thought that Edward was cheating on me? What if it was all true? The lies I'd invented before now a Frankenstein-ian nightmare to haunt me? I swallowed past the sudden pain in my throat, fighting not to break down right there. How did I know that this was all a game?

I watched Jasper, still waiting for his response to the question I'd asked, when I saw his eyes flash quickly to the rear-view mirror, looking at the empty backseat.

Or the trunk.

A small smile wormed its way back onto my face. This _was_ a game.

And I _was_ going to win it.

**Hehe! I love how they think the **_**exact same thoughts**_**! Hope you liked! Review!**


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes 5! **

**By: Llama mama23**

**I ****am personally shocked by how popular this story is. I think I say that every time, but that is because I am so SHOCKED! This story is my most famous, and well liked, so I take forever updating it so I won't write something **_**too **_**stupid and loose any fans. I love all of you! It makes my day to log onto my email and see three whole pages full of comments about my stories. Thank you all so much! Ya'll make it worth it!**

**Summary of last chapter****: Edward is hiding in the trunk of the Volvo, while Jasper is trying to get Bella to tell him what's wrong. Bella figured out he was there, then he figured out that she knew he was there, then she figured out that he knew she knew he was there. (I know, it's a little tricky!) Bella told jasper that she thinks Edward is cheating on her. She 'wants' to go out with Jasper.**

**Bella's POV**

"Bella, I think you're right." Jasper said, his golden eyes staring into mine with love shining out. I faltered in my tracks, my perfectly perfect smile falling a little before coming back up. Jasper could _not_ be doing this to me! It's just mean! And the love in his eyes? He was clearly a good actor. Stupid Cullens and their mad skills.

I swallowed to clear my throat, attempting to give myself another moment to pop out another brilliant story. None came. I dug around in my brain, searching for _anything _that I could use. A few select possibilities materialized in my head, but dead-ended into nothing. Just as I was starting to let my panic show, we arrived at the Cullen household. I stayed in place—as did Jasper—when the car had been stopped. A brilliant idea floated into my head, and I acted on it instantly, having already thought too long.

"Can we sit outside and talk? It's lovely today." It was 40 degrees outside, which was _not_ considered lovely in anybody's book except Frosty the Snowman's, but Jasper nodded assent and followed my lead out of the car.

"Can we sit on the car?" I asked, a path forming in front of my eyes, "I don't think Edward will mind."

**Edward's POV**

"Can we sit outside and talk? It's lovely today." Bella said in a chipper voice. I looked through Jasper's mind and saw that she looked happy, and was smiling a _real_ smile, not the fake ones she'd been using. Something was up. I remembered that it was around 40 degrees outside, defiantly _not_ Bella's definition of 'lovely'.

"Nod. Act like you're fine with it. Something's up." I breathed to him.

"Can we sit on the car? I don't think Edward will mind." Oh. So that was what it was coming to. She was going to sit on me. She knew for a fact that I wouldn't let _anyone_ sit on my car—except her, if she really wanted to—and she'd figured out that I was in the trunk, and not running along beside the car, or something like that.

I sighed, knowing Jasper was probably feeling my exasperation. I felt the car bounce a little as Bella hoisted herself onto the trunk, settling down as Jasper joined her.

"I think, before anything happens between us, you should tell Alice that you two are over. I'll tell Edward too, whenever he gets home from school." I felt Jasper's panic, even though he knew that he wouldn't really have to do that. I felt the car bob up and down slightly as Bella tapped her foot on air. She was _good_. It was driving me crazy having Jasper on my car, and having the car bounce like it was. But I did feel pain that she was talking about this, even though I knew it was part of a game.

_Edward, what's going on out there? Why did Bella just say that? _ Emmett thought at me from inside the house, knowing that I was never far from Bella. I groaned in my head; he was going to hear all of this. I prayed that he wouldn't come out and ask me or Jasper, and he seemed to be listening to what was happening before he did anything.

**Jasper's POV**

This conversation was getting uncomfortable. I had to admit that Bella was playing her part admirably, I would have believed her if I couldn't feel her excitement. Even though this _was_ just a game, I wasn't willing to even _pretend_ that I was leaving Alice. Knowing her power, she'd see a vision of me saying 'Okay, Bella, I'll tell Alice, you tell Edward, and we'll run away together.'

I think it was time to switch sides. I'd helped Edward out as much as I could, and he still didn't know what Bella was thinking, but he could figure that out for himself later. I think Bella needed my help right now.

"Don't do this, Jasper!" Edward pleaded in a soft whisper, no chance of Bella hearing.

_Sorry._ I thought to him.

**Edward's POV**

I fumed inside my brain, making sure to send waves of hostility and anger towards Jasper. He was deserting me and planned on helping Bella! She didn't even _need_ help! I was the one trapped in the trunk of my car! I stifled the growl that was building in my chest, knowing Bella might hear if it got too loud. I tried to comfort myself that I would still hear his thoughts, still know what he was planning before it happened. I would be prepared.

Just then, Jasper conjured up the most vivid image of Alice he could, shoving it into my brain and most likely scaring me for the rest of my undead life. I quickly withdrew my mind from his as fast as I could, that image of Alice burned into my brain for probably the rest of time. I screamed at Jasper with my emotions, making them as strong as I could, and clenched my fists to keep from making a sound.

Bella, unaware of our inner struggle and her new ally, resettled herself on the trunk, purposefully making it bounce up and down. I couldn't see her anymore, as I'd left Jasper's mind as much as I could.

Emmett had gleaned enough of the situation to guess that I was in the trunk. Goody for him. _You know that saying, 'come out of the closet'?_ Emmett asked me, knowing that I couldn't answer. _You get to 'come out of the trunk!' _He snickered, finding his joke utterly hilarious. Behind all the grotesque images of Alice, I felt plans stirring in Jasper's mind, but I couldn't see them without subjecting myself to the parade of Alice. I thrust Emmett's annoying presence out of my mind, and tried to find a way around all the pictures. There were too many to get past without my brain having an ulcer, so I sat back to wait and actually _hear_ what Jasper was doing.

**Bella's POV**

Jasper, having been silent for a moment, held out his hand to me. What was Edward planning now? Jasper pointed to the trunk that we were sitting on, and then put his finger to his lips in the world-wide sign for quiet. He held out his hand again to shake; a truce? Was Edward doing this as his next phase in the plan? Jasper must have felt my indecision and suspicion, for he mouthed 'changed sides' at me and smiled an evil smile. If he really had changed sides, then I felt bad for Edward.

**Edward's POV**

Then I felt it. Jasper was starting a massive wave of energy, of which he was planning to slam on me. He was trying to get me to say I was in here. I couldn't just open the trunk; Bella would go flying, plus it would break my beautiful car. He was trying to get me to ask them to move so I could get out. I clenched my teeth, settling myself for a fight.

**Sorry about the semi-cliffy! Please forgive me! **


	7. Chapter 6

**Notes SIX! VI! **

**And we shall pretend that Edward's Volvo has a gap in between the car and the trunk. I do not want **_**anyone**_** saying "That's not true" or "That's not realistic." Because you are reading about **_**vampires**_**. Honestly. Whenever vampires become realistic, you can yell at me about the trunk gap.**

**Disclaimer: I am ****Twilight****'s number one **_**fan.**_** Not number one **_**author**_**. **

**Bella's POV**

Jasper had that look in his eyes. The mischievous look that only males can achieve to its fullest potential. He grinned at me, showing off his gleaming white teeth.

"Bella, why don't you stay here for a moment? I need to run in for something. _Don't_ move." He raced off the car and into the house before I could blink, leaving me alone on the trunk of Edward's beloved Volvo, and Edward himself, if my assumptions were correct.

Jasper reappeared next to me in an instant, holding a sheet of paper and two black pens. One of the pens had the thickness of a piece of paper, looking thin enough to pass through almost any gap you could conjure up. The other was normal size.

He handed me the normal sized one, and slipped the paper-thin pen into the miniscule gap I'd never noticed between the car and the beginning of the trunk. I wondered if they had pens like that especially for instances such as these. People in trunks, that is.

He set the paper down in front of me, patting it once to get his idea across without speaking, and settled back against the car. It hit me then that this was all going to end the same way it started; with a note.

**Edward's POV **

Jasper's energy wave died suddenly, as if he'd been hit with a better idea. I felt the car bounce up slightly as Jasper got off, and I considered how fast I would need to move to burst out of the car, catch Bella, and disappear again. The odds weren't good, and with Bella concerned, they were probably even smaller than I thought they were.

Jasper's weight settled onto the car again, forcing me to let go of my accumulating plans to burst heroically out of the trunk.

I heard the rustling of paper, but since I was still furiously censoring his thoughts, I was only relying on my other senses, with no idea why he was doing what he was.

One of our ultra thin pens alerted me to it's presence by falling through the tiny gap between the trunk of my car and the actual car itself, hitting my curled leg in the process. I picked up the pen, and heard the soft scratching of pen on paper right above me. Bella was writing a note.

**Bella's POV**

I looked at the paper for a moment before actually writing anything on it, thinking of the best way to tell Edward that I knew he was in the trunk.

I scratched down the only sentence that came to mind, and then tried to slip it into the same gap that Jasper had used, without success. Jasper took it from me and then made a show of uncurling his finger from his clenched fist position, and looking down at the trunk with a gleam in his golden eyes.

**Edward's POV**

I sat there, curled up into a ball in my own trunk, waiting for the note from Bella that I knew she'd written, for her handwriting sounded different from Jaspers, when suddenly a sharp '_pop_' interrupted my thoughts, I looked up to see a finger peeking at me from the roof of the trunk.

The fury in me started to build as Jasper withdrew his finger from the burrow it had made _in my car_. My _car_. My favorite inanimate thing on the planet. Jasper was going to be hurt very badly as soon as I got out of this mess.

As I started planning how many ways I could inflict revenge on him, a rolled up piece of paper stuck itself through the hole.

I considered not taking it, wondering if she might believe that I'd never been in here if nothing pulled it through to the other side, but my curiosity took over and I pulled the scrap of paper from it's snug fit, moving my leg to the side so that it couldn't be seen by looking into the hole, and began unrolling her note soundlessly.

_Are you going to come out? _It read, in Bella's beautifully untidy scrawl. I picked up the ultra thin pen (As Emmett always called it) and wrote down my response.

**Bella's POV**

I watched the little white strip of paper that Jasper had brought out, still wedged snugly in the hole Jasper had made. I couldn't _believe _that Jasper had done that. I was shocked when Edward didn't just burst out of the trunk right then and there to kill Jasper more painfully than his transformation ever could have.

A small amount of time passed, not much, but enough to make me wonder if this whole game I was playing was just in my imagination.

I gasped from surprise when the note was pulled from its hole, disappearing into the darkness of the trunk. I hovered over the small opening, trying to see if I could spot him, but all I saw was blackness. I waited there, looking intently at the hole as if waiting for it to do a trick, and inhaled sharply once again when the white paper poked out from the hole. I unrolled it, reading the words, or _word _I should say, that he'd written.

_No._

I smiled and let out a giggle. His word made me think of the classic picture of a child who tried to steal a cookie from the cookie jar, and got caught, that pouty expression that they all wore when saying 'No, I was _not_ trying to get a cookie'. Picturing those pouty features on beautiful, perfect Edward, was one of the most amusing pictures I'd ever come up with.

I looked up to see what Jasper thought of Edward's response, but he'd disappeared, leaving me alone with Edward. I picked up the pen again, writing my next words.

**Edward's POV**

I was in the trunk of my car. Bella was on top of the trunk, writing me a note that she'd give me through a hole that Jasper made _in my car_. I couldn't come out, because that would make me loose, and I couldn't stay here, because (despite what everyone else might think) being curled in the trunk of a car isn't exactly the most comfortable position on the planet. Even for a vampire. Jasper was no longer helping me. And most importantly, something was bothering Bella that she wouldn't tell me.

I listened to her write her note, all the events of the day placing themselves before me in a timeline of stupidity and genius. I assessed the situation, trying to figure out what I was going to do.

The note wedged itself into the _hole_ again (I also added 'kill Jasper. Again' to my to-do list) and I yanked it through quickly, hoping she'd tell me what was wrong so I could get out of here.

_Alright. Don't come out. I'll just wait right here for you to ask nicely to get out whenever you're ready._

I gritted my teeth, frustration building traumatically. Not at Bella of course, but at myself, Jasper, Jessica, and Lauren; the people who started all this. I heard movement on the trunk, and listened closely, trying to figure out what Bella was doing. It sounded like the rustling of clothes, most likely jeans by the sound of it. Then I heard the gentle 'beep, beep' of cell phone buttons being pressed down.

"Dad?" Bella's voice chimed.

"Bella? Is everything alright?" I heard Charlie ask on the other end; he always assumed the worst when Bella called him at work. What was she doing? Why was she calling her father?

"Everything's fine! I just wanted to ask if it alright if I spend the night at Alice's tonight. She got a new makeup kit and is _dying_ to try it out on me." Her lying skills had most defiantly improved since the last time she had to lie to her father. She was asking to spend the night here? Why would she do that? It wasn't like she could sit on the trunk all night to make sure I didn't come out; she needed her sleep. I had to resist the urge to chuckle at the emphasis she placed on the word '_dying_'.

"That's fine, it's Friday, so the game'll be on tonight. Dr. Cullen or his wife will be there, right?" I rolled my eyes at his useless question; he still thought that Carlisle or Esme kept an eye on us every second we were near each other.

"Of course." Bella said, delivering her line perfectly.

"Alright then, have fun! Do you have everything you need?" I almost chuckled at that, as Bella had an entire closet stuffed to the door of clothes that Alice had gotten for her. She just didn't know it yet.

"Yes, Alice probably has a closet somewhere with every piece of clothing on the planet. All in my size." Then again, it wasn't exactly a secret that Alice had a tendency to over-shop for Bella…

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow!" Charlie finished, hanging up a second after Bella finished her goodbyes.

I heard the buttons being pushed once again, and listened in more closely this time to decipher the numbers by the different sounds. The number was familiar, one that also struck dread into my undead heart. Unless she was on your side, anything involving Alice was almost never a good thing.

**Authoress's note: I'm sure someone will wonder why Jasper didn't just poke a hole in the trunk **_**first**_** instead of using a tiny gap between the trunk and the car itself? Answer? Because I **_**really **_**wanted to have that line at the top '**_**when vampires become realistic, you can yell at me about the trunk gap**_**' as well as '**_**people stuck in trunks, that is' **_**and having the gap made it possible to use them. **

**Happy New Year everyone! 2008! **

**Love ya'll!**

**-Llama mama23**


	8. Chapter 7

**Notes SEVEN!**

**Summary of last chapter: Jasper switched to Bella's side, and poked a hole in Edward's trunk, so now Bella and Edward are passing notes. Through a trunk. A trunk that Edward is inside of. Pretty funny stuff, if you ask me.**

**Final lines of last chapter:**

"**I heard the buttons being pushed once again, and listened in more closely this time to decipher the numbers by the different sounds. The number was familiar, one that also struck dread into my undead heart. Unless she was on your side, anything involving Alice was almost never a good thing."**

**Bella's POV (Some of this is restating a little bit of the last chapter in Bella's point of view)**

_Alright. Don't come out. I'll just wait right here for you to ask nicely to get out whenever you're ready._

I wrote down, slipping the note into the little hole. Then I pulled out my phone and called my father, asking for permission to stay the night. I felt slightly bad about lying to him so much, but he gave his approval and when we hung up, I started dialing Alice, hoping that she'd seen my plans and was coming prepared. If I was going to sleep on the trunk of a car, I'd need pillows, and many, _many_, blankets. Did the Cullen household even have blankets? They didn't need them, so why would they be there? I hoped reverently that Alice was near a store that sold blankets.

Her phone rang once before her chipper voice informing me that she was on the other line, and would like me to leave a message at the beep. The beep came and I told her answering service my plan, knowing that Edward would most defiantly hear and object to it.

**Edward's POV**

Why was she calling Alice? Her last note rested limply in my hands as my mind wondered in thought.

Alice's voice message came broadcasting through Bella's phone, and as Bella began to talk, the pen found its way to my hand again as I began writing furiously.

"—So then Edward figured out that I _knew_ he knew I knew he was in the trunk, and then Jasper switched sides and poked a hole in Edward's car and, long story short, I'm currently sitting on the trunk of Edward's Volvo, and he refused to come out of it, so was hoping you'd bring me some blankets and pillows so I could sleep out here tonight, just until he takes pity on the poor human who he's_ forcing to sleep out in the cold night air simply to get him to admit defeat_." Bella bounced the car a little to get her point across, putting a ridiculous amount of inflection on her last words, and continued monologing to Alice's answering machine. "Charlie said I could sleep over here tonight, but I had to tell him that you got a new makeup kit and you were _dying_ to try it out on me so, if you help me, I'll give you _one hour_ of makeup time. _One hour_. No more."

She hung up, and I jammed the paper up through the hole so fast that it went through completely, landing in her lap.

I heard her unscrolling it, and tried to focus my broiling anger on something other than that fact that I would be stuck in the trunk of my car for hours. Because either way, someone would be sitting on me. I wouldn't try to break out if there was any chance of Bella getting hurt, but if Bella left, someone else would most likely find it humorous to sit on me, as a favor to Bella, leaving me still unable to get out without further damaging my car.

**Bella's POV**

I hung up on Alice's machine, and smirked, waiting for Edward's furious 'No, absolutely not!' note. Sure enough, it flew out of the hole with so much force that it tumbled in the air for a few seconds before falling back down into my lap.

I unscrolled it, making a list of all the things I expected him to say.

_No! Absolutely not! You are _not_ sleeping in this weather! Nor on the _trunk_ of a _car_! No, No, NO! Out of the question. Please call Alice back_ immediately_ and tell her you have changed your mind._

Yep. I guessed them all. His note aligned almost perfectly with the one I'd expected him to write. I picked up my pen to retort that he wasn't the boss of me, but he'd written his 'no's so big that the little scrap of paper was used up, front and back.

I considered who all was in the house that would help me. Jasper had probably run off to hide in the woods and I didn't want to push his help any more than I needed to. It would be just my luck if he went _back_ over to Edward's side. Alice was shopping, I assumed, and Rosalie wasn't exactly the sit-on-a-trunk-so-her-brother-couldn't-get-out type of person. That left one more Cullen 'kid' that I could turn to.

"Emmett?" I asked in my normal pitch, knowing that he'd hear me if he was here.

I flinched backwards in shock when he was suddenly in front of me, a huge goofy grin on his face.

"Hey, Bella! What are you doing out here?" His voice was on the verge of laughter, so I assumed that he knew _exactly_ why I was out here.

"Waiting for Edward to come out of the trunk." I said calmly, as if that was a sentence I used every day. I scooted over a little so he could sit on the trunk with me if he wanted to, almost grinning as I pictured Edward's furious face when Emmett hopped onto the trunk of the car, making it bounce little, I suspected on purpose.

"Good luck with that; I've been waiting to see that for _years_." He leaned back onto the car, making himself comfortable.

"Whadda ya need from me?" He asked, figuring out that I probably called him for something. "Could you sit on the trunk for a moment to make sure he doesn't get out while I run inside to get more paper?"

"I'll go get it. He won't try to burst out of the trunk if there's a chance you might get hurt, and if I sit on him, he might try to." Emmett disappeared, taking longer than I thought he would, for a vampire.

**Emmett's POV**

I ran into Carlisle's study, grabbing a full ream of paper in case they wanted to pass a _lot _of notes. On my way back out, I ran into Rose, who was just coming back in from the garage where she'd been installing a new engine for her M3.

She wrapped her arms around my waist, letting me kiss her thoroughly before asking what I was doing.

"I have to run this out to Bella. She's sitting on Edward." I gave her one more quick kiss, then tried to slide away but, to my surprise, she stopped me.

"_Sitting_ on Edward?" She asked, curiosity sparking in her eyes, "Why is she sitting on Edward?"

"Oh, he tried to spy on her by hiding in the trunk of the Volvo while Jasper interrogated her. She figured out that he's in there, and is sitting on the trunk. Jasper poked a hole in his trunk, so now their passing notes through it, because Edward won't come out." I was really glad Jasper had told me the whole story before he left to go hide out in the surrounding woods. He didn't want any more to do with this whole situation.

"He tried to spy on her? That's not very gentlemanly of him." Rose stated, a smirk growing on her face. She wasn't very happy with Edward (He'd blocked her in last night in the drive-way; she'd had to pick up her car and carry it behind his before she could get out.) and earlier today, she'd been trying to come up with a plan for revenge. She had also been trying to think of a way to bond with Bella, as it was apparent that she wasn't going anywhere. She evidently saw potential in this situation, as a mischievous spark lit up in her eyes.

"What are you going to do?" I asked her, having been on the opposing end of that spark many-a-time.

"Well… He _did_ do something rather ungentlemanly. And he _did_ block me in last night. I think _something_ needs to be done." One more mysterious smile, and she disappeared again, back towards the garage.

**Bella's POV**

My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I pulled it out quickly, sighing in relief when '_Alice'_ flashed on the caller ID screen.

I flipped it open, "Hello?" I asked, hoping that she'd gotten my message and was calling to tell me she'd just bought the contents of a blanket store.

"I got pillows, blankets, and an oxygen mask." Alice's voice informed me.

I paused for a moment, wondering if I should even bother asking. "Uh…Alice, why do I need an oxygen mask?" I asked her, hoping for a strait answer.

"You'll see. I'll be there in about ten minutes." She hung up, and I shut my phone, wondering why on earth I'd need an oxygen mask.

**I know. I'll wake up dead tomorrow in my bed. While it isn't nice of me to leave cliff-hangers, you should all remember: killing isn't nice. **


	9. Chapter 8

**Notes Eight!**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT. IF I DID, I WOULD BUY MY OWN COUNTRY AND NAME IT TWILIGHT-LAND. So keep an eye out for that.**

**Rosalie's POV**

I rifled through the cabinet that were we kept spray paint, hoping that we'd purchased what I needed at one point or another. We kept this little stash in case we ever needed to get out of a town unrecognized; it's amazing how a simple paint job can make a car look completely different. I reached around hues of blue, green, purple, finally coming to the section that was mostly reds.

I grinned in triumph as my hand found its treasure: a can of bright pink spray paint. I pulled it out; shaking it to make sure it wasn't empty.

As I did a little victory dance, my cell phone vibrated in my pocket, and I quickly moved it to my ear, seeing that it was Alice.

"Hello?" I said, knowing that she'd have seen my plan, and hoping she was calling to give me advice rather than tell me not to do it.

"You can't paint the whole thing. Bella needs to be sitting on it, to keep him in there. He'll be very angry, so her safety will be the only thing that keeps him from breaking the car to get to you."

I faltered for a moment. Even though I knew Alice's power, it was still a shock when she seemed to know _everything_. I looked again at the can in my hand, still hoping to use it for some type of revenge. I realized that, though I couldn't do the entire thing, I could probably do something smaller.

"If I can't do the whole thing, what should I do?" I asked, trying to think of designs or patterns I could use.

"Flowers?" Alice suggested

"No, not masculine enough." She murmured to herself, answering her own question.

"Animals?" I suggested, making up my mind to do it so she's see the outcome.

"No. Too unusual. It would draw attention."

"Flames?" I asked, again reforming my future.

"Perfect!" She squeeled, "He'll be furious! I'll be home in a few minutes, don't start without me!" She hung up, and I grinned in pure glee as I reached back into the cupboard, looking for a darker shade to accompany the pink I already had. I found one that was more on the reddish side of what I needed, but it would nevertheless suit my need perfectly.

**Bella's POV**

I sat on Edward, waiting for Alice to get here. I'd been thinking so hard about why I'd need an oxygen mask that I'd forgotten about the paper Emmett was bringing me. He appeared on the trunk once again, holding my paper in his large hands. He'd gone overbroad and gotten me a full ream of paper; which was about 499 pages too much.

"Thanks." I told him anyways, ripping open the packaging and drawing out a fresh sheet.

I picked up my pen once again, pondering words that I should write to Edward; but at that moment, Alice's Yellow Porsche hummed to a halt next to me. Alice hopped out, her arms loaded with enough bags to cover Texas.

She ran them inside faster than I could see and was again at my side in an instant. An oxygen mask (I'm assuming that's what it was, it looked like what an oxygen mask should) clutched in her hand.

I had to look at the mangled-looking piece of equipment for several seconds before I could really believe what I was seeing.

"Do you like it?" Alice squeeled, bouncing up and down with excitement.

"It's pink." I stated, still staring at it in disbelief.

"Yes! How cute is it!" She turned to Emmett for another, hopefully more excited, opinion.

"It _is_ pink, Alice." He said, his boulder-sized shoulders shaking with suppressed laughter. "But why does Bella need an oxygen mask?"

"Emmett, get off the car." Alice told him, and he quickly obeyed; when Alice tells you to do something, you _listen_!

"Now, Edward, Bella is on your trunk. You cannot burst out without risking her life. No one is on the trunk to stop her from flying off if you loose your temper. Remember that." She patted the top of the trunk for emphasis, and Emmett moved a little closer, his curiosity reaching its max.

"Bella needs an oxygen mask because humans shouldn't be exposed to the smell of spray paint. It's bad for their brains. And since Bella can't hold her breath for long, she needs the oxygen mask." She smiled like that explained everything. When Emmett and I both stared at her in confusion, she rolled her eyes, and pointed towards the garage. Rosalie had just emerged with two cans clutched in her hands. She stalked towards the Volvo, looking like some sort of avenging angel of paint (for I assumed that the cans she held were the spray paints that would damage my brain if I smelled them.).

"Because Rosalie is going to spray paint Edward's car. With flames." She grinned like she'd come up with the idea, which she probably had, and added "Pink flames." Emmett collapsed on the ground, and I could feel the trunk of the Volvo vibrating under me. I pulled out the sheet of paper I'd started, picking up my pen once more.

**Edward's POV**

An oxygen mask? Why would Bella need an oxygen mask? Still curled in the trunk of my beautiful, wounded car, I tried to think of all the possible things Alice could have foreseen that would require an oxygen mask.

I checked back in with Rosalie's thoughts; she'd been singing 'The llama song' in her head for the past few minutes. That worried me; my siblings only sang pointless songs to keep me out of their heads.

And they only kept me out of their heads when they were planning something.

'Llama, llama, cheesecake, llama…' she continued, completely obscuring any other thoughts she was having.

I sighed.

Emmett rushed back onto my trunk, making the car bounce more than it needed to, just to annoy me. I couldn't believe Bella was letting them do this to me. When I reviewed my actions from a third party perspective, I had to agree with her that I did deserve it, but no matter how many times I told myself that, it still felt unfair.

Emmett handed Bella the paper, and I heard Alice's Porsche coming quietly up the concealed driveway. I clenched my teeth in dread; Alice was singing 'Rich girl' in her head. Not good.

I could hear her as she rushed all her purchases inside, and then sprinted back out here to Bella's side.

"Do you like it?" I hear her giggle. Having had much experience with that tone of her voice, I assumed that she was bouncing in her excitement for whatever she had in her hands.

I prepared myself for whatever Emmett was thinking, and dived into his thoughts to see what Alice was showing them. Emmett wasn't even trying to block his thoughts, nor picturing obscene pictures of Rosalie, as I'd been expecting.

Alice held a pink oxygen mask in her hands. Pink. Oxygen mask. I rolled my eyes, wondering how on earth she managed to find things like this.

"It's pink." Bella commented, Emmett looked at her and I got a perfect visual of my traitorous angel. She was staring fixatedly at the mask, horror written all over her face.

"Yes! How cute is it!" Alice trilled, turning to look at Emmett for his thoughts.

"It _is_ pink, Alice." He said, his thoughts swirling with suppressed laughter. "But why does Bella need an oxygen mask?" I held my breath for her answer, still unable to hear anything though the 'nah-nah-nah's of Alice's chosen blockade.

"Emmett, get off the car." She commanded him. Uh-oh.

"Now, Edward, Bella is on your trunk." I braced myself for whatever she was going to tell me, knowing that she would tell me Bella was on the car unless she didn't think I could handle whatever she threw at me. "You cannot burst out without risking her life. No one is on the trunk to stop her from flying off if you loose your temper. Remember that." The pat that she bestowed upon the top of my hideout made the entire trunk vibrate slightly; her making sure that she got her point across. Through Emmett's eyes I saw the scene come closer as he shuffled towards Alice, his thoughts rooting for more humiliation on my part.

"Bella needs an oxygen mask because humans shouldn't be exposed to the smell of spray paint. It's bad for their brains. And since Bella can't hold her breath for long, she needs the oxygen mask" Spray paint? Oh no…She wouldn't. Painting my car was an unspeakable crime, one they would never do. We may not have souls, but we all have _brains_. They should know that I would kill them if they did that. Well, kill them _again._ But why else would Bella need an oxygen mask? What else would they be spray painting? Anger started to broil up inside of me.

I heard the garage door open and Emmett's thoughts returned to his usual Emmett-thoughts as Rosalie came into view. Two cans of spray paint in her hands. Emmett started thinking things that I would rather go deaf then hear, so I shoved his mind as far away as I could and went back to using my senses for information.

"Because Rosalie is going to spray paint Edward's car. With flames." Alice's chipper voice stated. I reminded myself that Bella was on the trunk. If I let my control go, I'd burst out and she'd get hurt. But that couldn't stop me from vibrating with anger. How could my siblings do this? They would pay.

"Pink flames." Alice added.

_Bella is on the trunk, Bella is on the trunk, Bella is on the trunk…_ I chanted to myself, blocking out all other thoughts. Of _course_ it would be _pink_ flames. Not enough to just poke a hole in my car, paint on flames, and leave me to mourn the loss of my dignity in peace. Nope. It had to be _pink_ flames.

Another note poked though said hole in my car, and I grabbed it quickly, eager for a distraction from the revengeful fury.

_I'll let you out if you forget everything that happened today. All of it. _

Her note was an ultimatum on paper, clearly telling me that I could either pursue my _chance_ of finding out what was bothering her, or listen to my car be tortured. It was a tough choice. On one hand, I _really_ loved my car, but I knew I loved Bella more. Even the slightest chance that I had to make her feel better about whatever it was that hurt her, I had to take it. I picked up the pen to write that I'd stay in here, endure this horrible torture, when a flashback took over my mind.

**(Picture this scene with some kind of inspirational music in the background. I like 'Chariots of Fire')**

_**Flashback:**__ Takes place in some large city that they lived in, before Forks._

_I stood in a car lot, looking at all the choicest available. Nothing was bad, but nothing was what I needed. I sighed; I'd never find the perfect car for me. Someone thought 'wow, that is some car' behind me, and I turned half-heartedly, expecting another car that was nice, but meant nothing to the true driver inside me. I nearly fell over when I saw it. The beautiful silver car coasted into the lot, seeming to go in slow motion as it passed me. My eyes followed its course, my heart locking onto the car. I ran over to the driver, stopping him in his U-turn. _

"_How much do you want for your car, sir?" I asked as politely as I could, dying to get inside and speed off into the sunset. Well, the clouds covering the sunset._

_He looked at me in shock, evidentially thinking I was joking. He turned in his seat to see behind him, continuing his U-turn, and I drew out my checkbook._

"_How much?" I asked again, putting a little more urgency in my voice. _

"_You're serious, kid? You can't afford this car!" He laughed, and I was suddenly tempted to just throw him out of the car and drive away._

"_I can. How much?" Something in my expression must have told him that I was perfectly serious, for he eyed me speculatively for a moment. _

"_Sixty thousand." He said. I wrote down the numbers, knowing that it was way over the price it should be, but not caring in the least._

_I tore out the check, signing my name with a flourish. I handed it to him, and he stared at it dumbly for a moment. _

"_You're kidding. Very funny, kid." I almost growled at him._

"_I am _not_ kidding. We can go cash it right now if you'd like." He glared at me for a moment. Before pressing a button on his console. _

"_Get in." He said, motioning to the back. I climbed in, halting my breath as the smell of human engulfed me. I was strong enough to take it, but that didn't mean I should purposefully tempt myself. The car was unusually clean for a human's property, and I was relieved that I'd only have to wash out the human smell once the car was mine._

_The man looked at me every few seconds in his mirror, his thoughts revolving around how bad he'd hurt me when the check wouldn't cash. He didn't seem at all concerned that I was a serial killer or thief; thinking that he could take me if it came to a fight. I smiled. _

_We pulled up to his bank and marched inside, my check held tightly in his hand. He handed it to the cashier without a word, and her eyes bulged as she saw the numbers. She quickly typed in the information, and then disappeared for a moment, returning with a small sack full of bills. The man's eyes were in danger of falling out as he took the sack reverently. _

"_Thank you for your business. Please come again." The woman said, her voice layered with false 'come-hither-ness'. It's what happens when you suddenly have money. We both strolled back outside, and I rushed to my new car, sliding into the driver's seat. _

"_Need anything out of here?" I asked him, and he shook his head, handing me the keys in a kind of daze. I drove away, leaving him standing there stunned on the sidewalk. I had a car. And I was never going to let it go. I patted the dashboard softly and, pressing down on the gas, I accelerated off into the distance. _

**Back in the present**__

I couldn't let this happen to my car. I loved Bella more than any car, and she knew that, but there's an unbreakable bond between a man and his car. Bella didn't even _want_ me to find out whatever was bothering her. She'd _prefer _that I take her option. I moved to write down my unwilling consent when another piece of paper popped though the hole.

_And you also must give me your iron-clad, unbreakable word that you will _not_ take me to another prom. Or any other dance._

My jaw clenched again. It was only a car, right? These were her human memories she was risking.

_No deal. Tell them to do their worst._

**HA! Edward's car story! I love it! Did you picture some pretty music? Makes the drive into the sunset beautiful! Let me know if you have any questions!**


	10. Chapter 9

**Notes NINE!IX!YA-WHOOO!**

**By: Llama mama23**

**Disclaimer: Maybe when my pet pig finally learns to fly, I'll manage to **_**magically**_** own the rights to Twilight. (And no. I don't actually have a pet pig, so that makes it **_**twice**_** as hard!)**

**I would like to dedicate this chapter to ****Meiko M ****who stuck with me even though I disappointed her. (And if she didn't really stick with me, then I'm still grateful to her for reading my stories for as long as she did. She gave wonderfully helpful reviews.) **

**Summary of last chapter: Edward discovered that Alice and Rosalie are planning to paint his Volvo. With pink flames. However, he refused to give up on what's bothering Bella, and doesn't come out of the trunk, sacrificing his car to the cause of love. (AWWW!) A little background was also provided on how Edward 'bought' his Volvo to begin with.**

**Also, I have no idea if its duc****t**** tape, or duc****k**** tape. Whichever it actually is, I think duck tape is funnier, so I'll be using that one. (You'll see!)**

**Bella's Point Of View**

I waited as patiently as I could for Edward's acceptance note, subconsciously jiggling my foot as I thought of all the glorious ways I could hold this incident over his head for all of eternity. Surly he wouldn't let his _car_ be painted _pink._ For guys, it's just not programmed into their systems to watch something happen to their car. They just can't do it.

His note peeked through the small hole once again, and I unfurled it with confident fingers.

_No deal. Tell them to do their worst._

I felt my jaw fall open in surprise. How could he do this? _Why _would he do this? Did he really want to hear what I was thinking that badly? Enough to let his car be tortured? I felt a stab of pity for my nosey vampire, hunkering down in his _trunk_ to listen to spray paint devour his beloved car.

Without my head's permission, I could feel the resolve strengthening in my heart; I had to let him out. As much as I didn't want to, I knew that this was one battle with myself that I wouldn't win. I loved him too much to let this happen to him. Even though he'd attempted to completely invade my privacy, I was _still_ too much of a coward to look at his face when he finally got out of the trunk.

As I moved my hands to the top of the trunk to hop off, Alice was suddenly in front of me.

"I'm sorry to have to do this, Bella. I was hoping that my vision would be wrong."

And than she pulled out the biggest roll of duck tape I'd ever seen.

She pulled off a strip that was as long as she was tall, and pressed it over my legs, securing them to the car.

"Emmett! Hold her down!" Alice commanded, finding it very difficult to hold down my struggling human body _and_ pull off piece upon piece of iron plated duck tape.

Emmett, grinning hugely, came over and pressed my arms against the back windshield. I knew that struggling would be more pointless than a llama attempting to fly, so I relaxed and focused on sending death glares at Emmett.

"Why?" I pouted at him. I'd though he'd been on _my_ side. Had he been working for Alice all along?

"Sorry, Bella, but we all wanted to finally pull a prank on Edward, and this was the only way. You're merely a casualty in a war that's been going on since before you were born. Look at it this way, as least you won't get hurt at all!" As he said this, Alice ripped off another long strip of duck tape, and I grimaced at the sound it made coming off the roll.

"Well, it may hurt a _little_ when you pull those off." He amended. "But think of it as practice for the big day. The transformation will probably be only a _little _worse than pulling those off." By now, I was completely secured to the Volvo, barely able to move my head a centimeter one way or another. I heard a growl rumble though the top of the trunk; Edward not liking Emmett's statement.

"Alice!" I begged, my voice whiney. "Please un-duck tape me?"

"Nope. Sorry." She said, before fastening the hot pink hunk of metal that looked _nothing _like an oxygen mask on my face.

**Edward's POV**

I clenched my jaws together. I could deal with my own suffering, but how dare they torture _Bella_. Duck tape? Bella was going to be in enormous pain!

"But think of it as practice for the big day. The transformation will probably be only a _little _worse than pulling those off." Emmett's assumption that Bella _would_ be turned into a monster made me growl, causing the entire trunk to vibrate. Emmett laughed at me in his head.

I felt slightly happy that Bella had been about to let me out. It's the thought that counts, and she had no way of knowing that Alice had been prepared for this.

I heard the telltale rattle of a can of spray paint being shaken up, and I adjusted myself so that my hand could reach my face. I pinched the bridge of my nose; a habit formed from stress, and tried to come up with a plan. I had to get out to rescue both Bella and my car, but how could I do it? A brief thought crossed my mind, and as much as I'd feel like a tattletale for doing it, I had no other options. I pulled out my cell phone from my pocket, opening up my short list of contacts. I scrolled down to Carlisle's name, and opened up a text message file. He was at the hospital, so he should be able to get here within 5 minutes, assuming he wasn't doing anything important. I quickly completed my message, hitting 'send' and praying to anyone willing to listen that he'd be here soon.

**Carlisle's POV**

"Dr. Cullen? You're cell phone is ringing." The nearest scrub nurse informed me. I listed to the ring tone, ascertaining that it was a text message and not a call.

"Nurse Sloane, would you mind reading it to me?" I asked the nurse that was observing the surgery. The man on the table before me was having his appendix removed, and I was observing a new doctor's procedure, making sure he didn't kill the man. I breathed evenly though my nose; grateful, as I was every day, that I'd had the willpower to build up my self control. Saving lives made my own life worth living.

"It says it's from Edward." The nurse said, opening the message. "'Help! I'm stuck in my trunk, Alice has an oxygen mask, Emmett is holding Bella down while she's being duck taped to the car, and Rosalie is shaking up pink spray paint. Hurry!'" Everyone looked at me in confusion as I sighed heavily.

"Doctor Shepard, do you think you can make it though this without me?" I asked, removing my surgical gloves. "This should only take about half an hour."

"I think I'll be fine. Thank you for your help." He went back to poking and prodding the human as I stripped off my lab jacket and rushed out of the hospital to my car.

**Bella's POV**

Rosalie was shaking up the paint can. "I'm sorry, Edward." I whispered to him, hoping he could understand though the metal contraption on my face.

"Don't be such a pessimist, Bella! He won't be mad at _you_!" Alice was standing near Rosalie, moving her fingers over the Volvo as if showing Rose what to do.

"Well, he'll be quite furious with _you_." I informed her, knowing she probably had some sort of 'lay-low-until-Edward-doesn't-want-to-kill-us-anymore' plan.

"We're leaving the country before he gets out." She confirmed. I rolled my eyes. Overdramatic Cullens. Leaving the country because they painted a _car_.

Rose grinned. "It's time." She said, holding the can of spray paint a few inches from the car.

Alice froze where she stood, her eyes going wide; a vision. "Oh that little _snitch_!" She hissed. She motioned for Rosalie to speed up, and teleported over to the trunk. She leaned down over it, whispering just loud enough for me to hear, "You think this is over? Just because you _tattled_ on us doesn't mean we won't get you again. You just wait." She rushed back over to Rosalie, who was staring in horror at Alice. "He told _Carlisle_?" She hissed, glaring daggers at the trunk.

"Yes!" Alice screeched. She yanked the can of spray paint from Rosalie's hand, and her hands blurred as she squirted something onto the car.

"Run!" She squeeled, and I watched in amazement as she, Rose, and Emmett all disappeared in separate directions.

As I settled back against the back window of the Volvo, I heard a car coming down the driveway. I pulled my head up as far as it would go, expecting to see the black Mercedes driving up to the house. I groaned and flopped my head back against the car as Charlie climbed out of his cruiser, a confused expression on his face.

**OH! Bet you weren't expecting that! I think I'll have two more chapters after this one, but if you want more, you need to ****REVIEW**** and give me more ideas! I'm starting to run out. **

**This chapter is also dedicated to ****oXXb00kw0rmXXo ****whose horrific threat of killer bunnies made me turn on my computer and write.**

'**He went back to poking and prodding the human' is now one of my favorite lines from this story! How many Gray's Anatomy watchers are out there? Did you catch the Doctor Shepard and Nurse Sloane? *Giggles***


	11. Chapter 10

**Notes TEN. Seriously. Ten.**

**Previously on ****Notes****: Alice, being crazy, duck taped Bella to the trunk of the Volvo to keep her from letting Edward out. Alice sprayed something on Edward's Volvo, which will be revealed in the next chapter. Carlisle is on his way to the house, because Edward, being a tattle-tale, told him what was going on, and Charlie appeared. MYSTERY!**

**Also, I've gotten multiple people telling me that it is, in fact, Duc**_**t**_** tape, but I still like Duck tape better, so I will continue using that. **

**Disclaimer: Once upon a time…There was a girl who didn't own Twilight. Her name was Llama mama23. She was sad that she didn't own ****Twilight.**** The end.**

**Also, I kinda backed myself into a corner with this chapter…I wrote the last part of the previous chapter with **_**no idea**_** how Charlie would fit into this, it just occurred to me and I wrote it. So, bad planning on my part. Sorry if this seems a little **_**strange.**_

**Bella's Point of View**

Charlie's expression was one of intense confusion. Not just normal confusion where you usually have _some _idea of what's going on, but the type of confusion where you understand _nothing_. At all. The bright pink oxygen mask was still firmly wrapped around my head, making any attempts at speech useless. Charlie meandered towards me slowly, his eyes looking around as if trying to understand the strange scene in front of him.

"Bella? Why are you duck taped to a car? And why are you wearing that pink thing?"

"Could you please take it off me?" I asked him, my words sounding like a garbled mush of words through the mask. I was hoping to delay his questions while I tried to think of an excuse that made sense. Nothing did.

Somehow he managed to understand me, and his hands fluttered around uncertainly, looking for a strap of button that would free me. After many failed attempts, most of which were quite painful for me, the stupid hunk of metal was finally yanked from my face. I breathed in some fresh air, relishing its sweetness.

"What's going on, Bells?" Charlie asked again. "I come over to bring you some clothes for your sleepover and I find you _duck taped to a car_." I gulped, frantically trying to think of something that made sense. Just as I opened my mouth to say something that probably wouldn't make any sense whatsoever, there was a loud banging noise from the trees across the field.

**Carlisle's POV (About a minute or so beforehand)**

I couldn't help grumbling to myself as I took the turnoff to our house, hoping that my _children_ would hear me. I'd driven this way so many times that I wasn't even paying that much attention to the road, but I quickly slammed on my brakes when I saw a white blur run up to the car and stop right in front of me. Alice.

"Alice, what on earth is going on? I get a text message from Edward _in the middle of my surgery_. You've all gone crazy. Oxygen masks? Duck ta—" Alice quickly ran up to my door, yanking it open and pulling me out, cutting off my reprimand.

"What do you think you're doing, young lady?" I asked, putting on my condescending father voice.

"We have a problem, Carlisle. Right after I saw you on your way, I had another vision of Charlie making a detour to bring Bella some stuff for her 'sleepover'."

"Why is that a problem?"

"_Because_ he beat you here! Right now, he's trying to get the oxygen mask off Bella! When he does, she's going to have to explain, and you know what a horrible liar she is! She ends up telling him the truth." She had a point; I'd met toddlers that could lie better than that girl.

"Again, why is that a problem? So he finds out that we're a little crazier than he thought; no big deal. You don't mean she tells him _the_ truth?"

"No! But it's a very, _very_ big deal! There's not much time! To sum it all up, he arrests Emmett for abusing his daughter, and while he's taking him into the station, _the sun comes out_! Emmett can't get away, and goes all 'sparkle, sparkle'. Charlie finds out what we are! We have to stop Bella from telling him _anything_!" She started dragging me towards the house, where I could hear Charlie asking Bella what was going on.

"The only thing we can do that I see working is making Charlie think that this is all a dream. Jasper is nearby, and when I give him the signal, he'll put Charlie to sleep. But before that, we have to be _crazy_! He _has _to believe that he dreamed all this!"

Alice quickly pushed a pile of clothing into my hands.

I unfolded it as we were running, and stopped dead in my tracks.

"You have _got_ to be kidding me, Alice."

"CARLISLE!" She screeched at me. I started running again, throwing on the outfit as I ran.

"You have to wear that because earlier today, Charlie went to the elementary school to talk to them about bullying. They were watching Tarzan when he got there, and they refused to turn it off. So he had to watch the rest of the movie. It makes sense that he'd dream about it. So you're Tarzan."

I sighed. Only me…

"Emmett, Rose, and I will be coming out later. This _will_ work, as long as it's like a dream. Human's have crazy dreams these days, so just try not to make any sense."

We were now at the edge of the forest that surrounded out house, and I could clearly see Bella trying to come up with something that would make sense.

"I personally think it would be more convincing if Bella was Jane. Act like Charlie stole her or something."

Alice motioned for me to go, and whispered as I passed her "Don't forget the chest-banging thing! Tarzan does that all the time!"

**(Again, I wanted to apologize for this. **_**I **_**think it's funny, but I have a strange sense of humor [and a strange love for Disney movies; hence the whole 'Carlisle is Tarzan thing]. My pile of death threats is building every day, so I just wanted to finish this and get it out there. ****And remember, dreams don't make sense ****this is supposed to be rather confusing. Again, very, VERY sorry about this.)**

**Bella's POV**

I blinked. When you see your boyfriend's father walk out of the forest looking like a caveman, there's not much else you can do.

I blinked again. Charlie turned completely to look at the oncoming Carlisle-man and I heard Alice's voice whispering to me, even though I couldn't see her.

"We have to make Charlie believe that this is a dream. Carlisle is Tarzan. You're Jane. Tell him he needs to rescue you!"

Carlisle pounded his hands on his mostly bare chest, letting loose a jungle war cry.

"You take Jane. Me not happy with you." Carlisle advanced on Charlie, who was looking like he might faint with confusion. I cleared my throat, hoping that my acting skills hadn't deserted me.

"Tarzan! My hero! Come save me from this crazy baboon!" Alice had said he needed to believe it was a dream. Dreams never made sense. I wondered why Alice had chosen Tarzan, of all the things that Carlisle could pretend to be. And why was I Jane?

"Jane! My dear gorilla! I so happy you're not dead." A snort of laughter stuck in my throat. Gorilla?

"I'm not! I wish I was dead! The cabbage ran away from me! How am I supposed to live without it? My life won't be green enough without it!" _Cabbage?_ I questioned myself.

"A cabbage? It's _too_ green! You don't need it! You have me! I'll turn green!" I choked back another laugh. This was ridiculous.

As I was about to answer with another remark that made no sense, Emmett emerged from the trees. His hair was blue.

"Chief Swan! Thank goodness! I was flying through the woods, and then this little _pixie_ came, and then my hair turned blue! I simply demand that you arrest her!"

I began to worry about Charlie. His eyes couldn't possibly get any bigger, and he was looking around at all of us like he couldn't believe what he was seeing; which made perfect sense, given the situation.

Then Alice scampered out of the trees, dressed in a red Tinkerbell costume.

"Dear Sir, I don't know what this buffoon-ic man has told you, but I'm _sure_ he was lying. I would _never, _not if I lived one hundred years turn someone's hair blue!" I think Alice just wanted to do this for fun. And I think she planned it. Did she really have all these costumes lying around? Tinkerbell? Tarzan?

Charlie looked back and forth between Alice and Emmett, still looking as flabbergasted as it is possible to look without your eyes actually falling out.

Then Rosalie walked out of the trees.

As soon as she was within everyone's view, she promptly threw herself down on her stomach and pounded her hands into the ground. Charlie, being the kind and caring soul he is, walked over to her and knelt down by her side.

"What's the matter?" He asked her. I wondered what he was thinking right now. Did he guess that he was dreaming?

"It's not fair! All I wanted was a Llama! And that _stupid_ Jane came and took it away from me!" She pointed a perfectly manicured finger at me, still sobbing into the ground. Her distress was very moving; I almost believed it.

"Jane! How could you take her Llama!" Charlie stood in outrage, unable to resist defending the blond beauty.

Then he swayed on his feet a little, and his eyes drooped closed. Emmett quickly moved over to him and caught him as he fell; fast asleep.

Jasper stepped out into the open and there was a brief moment of silence before Carlisle's voice echoed around the clearing.

"Who started this?" Standing there in his Tarzan-outfit, he glared at each member of his family, somehow still managing to look terrifying.

"I'd hate to inconvenience any of you, but do you think that someone could _let me out_?" Edward's furious voice came from under me.

I was the first one to go. I couldn't help it. I tried to hold it in as long as I could, but a loud burst of laughter finally made its way out. My laughter set off Emmett, who was followed by Alice. Feeling all our hysteria, Jasper started laughing. Soon everyone was laughing, the echoes bouncing off all the trees and reverberating back to us until we couldn't tell the laughter apart anymore.

As the hysterics started to die down, I heard a car coming down the drive way. It was Alice's Porsche, and Esme stepped out of it, a load of grocery bags in her arms.

She looked at the situation in front of her, from her husband in a Tarzan-outfit, to Tinkerbell Alice, to the blue-haired Emmett holding Charlie off the ground, to me still duck taped to the trunk.

"What on _earth_ is going on?" She demanded.

We all started laughing again.

**I can't believe I wrote this. Seriously. This is even stranger than 'Vampiric Peaches'. I hope you didn't despise it and think I'm a **_**total**_** freak now! PLEASE review! This is the strangest thing I've ever written; I'm rather insecure about it**.


	12. Chapter 11

**Notes Eleven (Epilogue)**

**Authoress's note: Alright guys. This is it. After this, it will take an astronomical amount of reviews to make me add another chapter to this. I really do love the story, but the idea-shop is closed, and refuses to open back up. Thank you so much to everyone who read this story, and all the amazing comments I've received have made my self-esteem soar to slightly dangerous levels. I apologize in advance if this seems forced. Keep in mind that it **_**is**_**. **

**The perfect spray-paint message unfortunately wasn't found, so I hope what I used is funny enough for all of you. Thank you to everyone who entered something, some of them had me falling off my desk in laughter. **

**Once again a big thanks to everyone who read this story, a bigger thanks to those who reviewed, a huge thanks to those who added it to their favorites or alerts, and a GIGANTIC thanks to those who did all of them. You guys make my world light up like a tree on Christmas morning. I love you guys. Seriously.**

**Bella's Point of View**

I whimpered slightly in the back of my throat. I didn't wan to do this. Even though Edward couldn't get out of the trunk without it (at least without further damaging his precious car) I wasn't very thrilled. Emmett stood on one side of me, looking like he at least felt a _little_ bad about duck taping me to the trunk. He'd peeled off the duck tape that was attached to only the trunk, and he'd been given the honorable job of ripping all the duck tape off me. While my legs were thankfully covered in jeans, my arms were mostly bare and would _not_ enjoy the feeling of duck tape being pulled off them.

Desperately trying to put off the inevitable, I asked Emmett quickly, "How did you get your hair blue?" He smiled up at his azure locks, grinning over at Alice.

"Thankfully, Alice had some temporary spray-on hair coloring. When Charlie sees me with my normal hair again, it will give him more proof that it was all a dream." He seemed proud of his sacrifice to the greater good. I moved my head to look around him, finding Esme carefully placing Charlie in the passenger seat of his cruiser.

"Why did he come anyway?" I asked, still trying to distract him.

"Alice said he was dropping off some stuff for your 'sleepover'. I suppose its unnecessary now." He started to slowly pull the tape from my arms, and I blurted the first thing I could think of that might distract him. I don't know why I was bothering; I knew I couldn't spend what was left of my human life duck taped to the trunk of a Volvo. The tape would have to come off eventually. But it's human nature to forestall pain as long as possible. So I forestalled.

"Are you _sure_ that Alice gave you _temporary_ hair coloring? It seems awfully convenient that she had a Tarzan costume, Tinkerbell, _and_ temporary hair coloring. I think she planned all this. And if she did, do you _really_ think she'd give you temporary?"

His eyebrows furrowed, and he seemed to consider what I said for awhile. I started to hope that he'd forgotten about my duck-taped self, but then he looked down at me, smiled, and ripped all the tape off.

My shriek was more of surprise than of actual pain, but as soon as the tape was all off, the pain surfaced. Emmett lifted me off the trunk and the second my feet touched the ground, a furious Edward was standing beside me. He growled at Emmett.

"I hardly think that was necessary." Knowing how much pain I was in he laid his frigid arms on mine, instantly soothing their burning.

"Thanks for the tip, Bella. I'm gonna go try to wash it out right now!" He turned to go into the massive house, and Edward turned back to me, his face deeply apologetic.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I blew everything way out of proportion. With the help of my family, of course. But I should have just respected your privacy."

"Aw! You two lovebirds are too cute!" Emmett called over his shoulder, "You both talk as if you're in some teen romance novel!"

Edward growled at him again, letting go of my arms as he started to stalk towards Emmett, probably thinking of ways to kill him. Suddenly he stopped, looking at the side of his car.

"Oh thank goodness! Alice was hiding her thoughts from me, so I had no idea what she sprayed on here. But it's only a strange-looking rabbit." He smiled in relief, forgetting all about Emmett, who'd turned around to see what was on Edward's argentine car.

I moved over to stand next to him, carefully examining the 'rabbit' before turning to Edward.

"Um…Edward? That's not just a rabbit. It's the playboy bunny. With fangs." Edward looked at me for a few seconds, his perfect eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"The what?" He asked. Emmett appeared behind him, his booming laughter ricocheting off everything nearby.

"You don't know what the _playboy bunny_ is? Edward, sometimes you really are a disappointment." Emmett skipped off, his teasing having ruffled Edward's metaphorical feathers. Before Edward could demand an explanation, I saw the other thing that Alice had painted, and would have fallen over with laughter if Edward hadn't caught me and held me up.

"What is it?" He demanded impatiently. I was shaking so hard from laughter that I could only lift my arm and point to the sentence that was painted in pink spray paint across the passenger-side window.

**Edward's POV**

"ALICE!" I bellowed, gently setting Bella on the ground before racing off to find my soon-to-be-late sister.

I found her and Emmett in the first story bathroom, Emmett's face panicked.

"It won't come _out_!" He wailed, fingering his blue hair with a distraught expression on his usually playful face.

"It will; it'll just take a month or eight." Alice was smug as she smiled at Emmett, clearly knowing that this would happen. Probably planned it. I was going to _enjoy _killing her.

"Too bad you won't be here to see it." I hissed at her, glaring my fiercest glare.

She somehow had the nerve to roll her eyes at me before turning back to Emmett. "You'll just have to wear a wig the next time Charlie sees you." She grinned in triumph at Emmett's fearful grimace.

None of us quite understood it, but Emmett had a pathological fear of wigs. He saw one; he would immediately start babbling gibberish about how it would 'get him'. He never talked about it, so we all just guessed that something traumatic had happened in his human life involving a wig.

I shook of the comical memories of Emmett slowly backing away from a wig, dredging up my death wishes for Alice.

"First, you duck tape my girlfriend to the hood of my car. Then you have the nerve to spray paint _my car_ with _pink_ paint. You paint this obscure little rabbit that I'm sure has some embarrassing meaning, and then you paint the ridiculous term 'I'm Edwardlicious'! Honestly! Edwardlicious isn't even a word!"

Emmett, so terrified of his hairy fate moments before, was now rolling on the bathroom floor, laughing his blue head off. I growled, wordlessly telling him that I had no problem adding him to my hit list. He continued to laugh, seeming only amused by my not-so-silent threats.

"Edward?" I turned around, recognizing that beautiful voice and naturally turning towards it. Bella.

She was leaning up against the doorframe, a serious expression on her lovely face.

"You didn't see the driver's side window, did you?" She asked fearfully. I heard Alice giggle, and quickly rushed out the door to see what else Alice had done to my poor car.

**The next day (still Edward's POV)**

I clenched my teeth as another honk sounded from the car next to me. Bella stifled another giggle, somehow managing to find this funny.

"This is ridiculous." I hissed, as yet another honk came from a different car. I shot the car's driver a glare, and they quickly let up on the gas to fall behind us. I steered the car into the lane on the far left of the road, so no other cars could drive up on that side and see Alice's instructions.

She's painted her words so that my face was perfectly visible to everyone passing by, and despite the lane I was in, honks continued to pepper the air as we drove in silence to Seattle. We were going to Seattle to both get the spray paint removed, and fix the _hole_ that Jasper put in my car. Every time I tried to pummel him for that, I always seemed to forget that I was angry. Sometimes I really hated his little 'ability'.

Bella had talked me out of killing Alice, saying that Charlie would be suspicious is Alice suddenly disappeared. It was a weak excuse at best, but she'd also used her puppy-dog-eyes on me, which I pathetically couldn't seem to resist.

We got to Seattle fairly quickly, Bella telling me to slow down every time I exceeded one hundred miles per hour. When we drove into the Volvo auto shop and parked the car, I could see all the mechanics looking at the Volvo and stifling their grins. They _all_ thought this was funny.

**Some random mechanic's POV**

I could see all of my buddies laughing as the silver Volvo pulled into our lot, parking in one of the spaces closest to the door. As it parked, I got a glimpse of the passenger side, where the words 'I'm Edwardlicious' were painted in hot pink spray paint, along with something that looked like the playboy bunny. I grinned at that, but I burst out laughing as I saw the driver's side, and the words "HONK IF YOU THINK I'M SEXY!" , also in pink paint. A boy's face was framed perfectly by the 'o' in 'honk'.

We were all laughing now, and one of the female mechanics 'accidentally' pressed the horn of the car she was working on.

**Another few hours later, back to Edward's POV**

I leaned back against my couch, glad that the whole ordeal was finally over. The mechanics had managed to repair the hole with no problems, and the pink paint was all gone. Now all we had to worry about was Charlie.

Emmett, petrified, had managed to endure a wig for a few minutes as we purposefully ran into him and Bella at the grocery store. His thoughts had confirmed that he did indeed think that he'd had a dream. A very strange dream.

Bella groaned beside me, and a glance at the clock confirmed that it was time for her to go home. She'd driven her truck to our house earlier today, as I'd refused to take the Volvo out in public until absolutely necessary. So I carried her downstairs, depositing her safely in her monster of a vehicle.

Before she closed the door, she handed me a folded piece of paper.

"Don't open it until I'm out of sight." She told me sternly.

She pulled her door shut, started her obnoxious engine, and drove out of sight.

I curiously unfolded the paper she'd given me, ignoring the fact that the paper was pink.

'_Honk, honk' _was all that was written on the paper, along with a drawn smiley face with one eye lowered in a wink.

**THE END**

**I hope you all had a Merry Christmas! And will have a Happy New Year!**

**That's it! Hope you enjoyed reading Notes! Thank you again to everyone who helped make this story what it is! I apologize is something didn't make sense, please don't hesitate to ask questions.**

**Thank you so, so, **_**so**_** much to everyone, and be sure to leave a review, as those make my life JOYFULL!**

**May the llamas be with all of you,**

**-Llama mama23**


	13. Chapter 11 and a half

**Notes Eleven ½ **

**By: Llama mama23**

**A Note from the Authoress: Hiya everyone! I know that I've been gone a LONG time, and I'm so sorry for that! **

**Many of my older fans have sent me questions about the Notes movie. I wanted to answer all those questions here: there WAS a Notes movie on youtube, but some mean people left rude comments on it, so it was taken down. I'm so sorry that I never updated with that information, but I just haven't had time for anything life-related. **

**-Llama mama23**


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